chloe + toby after confession

"You know I sometimes work with the FBI... how can you trust that I won't reveal all of this?"

The lump in my throat grew and I tried to swallow it.  "I trust you."  My voice was soft, seductive.

"Don't do that, Chloe."  He leaned forward.  

"What?"  I batted my eyelashes and tucked my hair behind my ears, smiling at him.  

Toby's face remained unmoved.  "Why me?"

"Because you're my best friend here..."

He immediately cut me off, just like Izaak would have.  "Don't lie."

My eyes rolled.  "Who else would I have told?  If Gabe knows, then I'm going to jail.  If Izaak knows, I'm going to jail.  You're the only person not strongly connected to either of them.  And you're my running buddy.  I really do feel close to you."

Shaking his head, Toby sighed and broke eye contact, glancing around the room as if trying to figure out what to do.  "This is not good, Clo."

"I know."  The silence was slightly uncomfortable, but I felt a bit more content, happy to have someone on my side.  Or at least it seemed like Toby would be on my side.  "Should I just run away again?  That's what my gut is telling me..."

"No, because once you start running, you'll never be able to stop, and you'll live in a constant state of anxiety and paranoia."  He looked like he'd been there, done that.  "How long until Violet figures out it's you?"

"How can I predict that?"

"She's smart, and when she's focused, watch out.  How's her mood lately?"

I shrugged.  "I dunno, normal.  Cranky.  Since we got back from the trip she's not as spunky, but nothing too different.  She's been working on it a lot.  I give it a week."

He hadn't expected such a short timeline.  "You really should've told this to Izaak instead of me."

"Why?"

"Because he could actually help you.  He's an agent, he has connections, can pull some strings to get you a deal.  What can I do?"

"Help me think of a way to get out of trouble.  Come on, you're in this field — what do people normally do?"

"Frame others, but..."

"Yes!  Who can I frame?  How can I frame them?  There must be someone who deserves it..."

"Chloe, this desire to get what you want by 'punishing' others seems to be getting you into a lot of trouble.  Maybe it's time to be held accountable for what you did wrong instead of pinning it on someone else?"

"But what if I get caught and then they also bring up all the other crimes?  I would be in jail the rest of my young adult life and I can't, Toby.  I just wanted to help my granny.  No one else ever cared for her because she helped my dad.  They called her an enabler.  I didn't want to drop out of college and work full time at a restaurant, but that's my granny.  She was there for me when my mom went away, when my dad went away.  What was I going to do?  Just watch her die?  It was too much money, I was too young, I wasn't thinking."  Tears were brimming my eyes, threatening to spill at any time.  I hadn't talked about this with anyone, not even Izaak, but putting words to my feelings made them come to the surface, exposed after months of pushing them away.  "I thought maybe the more expensive the nursing home, the longer she'd be here, the more time we'd have."  My lip quivered as I sucked in a deep breath, looking at the books on his shelf, reading the titles to myself so I'd not cry.

Toby, of course, was passing me a tissue, eyes a little glossy himself, though I'm sure he didn't want me to notice.  

I wiped my eyes and gave him a pathetic look.  "Please."  It came out as a whisper.

"You'll have to find someone else to blame, and then plant evidence on them.  Cops can't do anything to you if they don't have proof."

"Do you think Violet will tell Gabe?"

He thought about it for a moment.  "It's hard to say.  Violet's loyal, which could work for or against you depending if you or Gabe is the one she feels more in debt to."

I silently hoped she would take my side.