Staying out all night

“Where the hell have you been?” That’s how Jeremy greeted me when I sauntered in the front door at 8am.

“Out.” I kept my reply quick and tried to go to my room but he stepped in front of me.

“Out where? Justin was worried all night about you.”

“No one told him to worry.”

Jeremy’s jaw tightened. “And no one told you that you can turn your phone off and stay out all night.” I could feel him getting more impatient by the second, ready to snap on me but holding it in. Good. That’s exactly where I wanted him. They were ruining my life, so he deserved it.

“Well, too bad.” I tried to walk past him to my room and this time Jeremy grabbed my upper arm, spinning me back towards him.

“We’re not finished here, Joeie.” I struggled to break from his grip and he squeezed tighter. “Enough!” His tone made my tummy drop so I stopped squirming (for now). “You didn’t even bother trying to sneak in, just came in here head held high like you’re proud of yourself. For what? Keeping your brother up all night? Having me scouring the city for you, praying I wouldn’t find you dead or in the hospital?”

“I was fine,” I insisted, glaring at him.

“We would’ve known that if you had bothered to call or text, but instead you went dark.”

“Whatever, Jer. Can you finish this lecture later? I’m tired and ready for bed.”

His body tensed and I half-expected him to drag me over his knee right then. But he resisted. “You think you’re going to come home and sleep all day?”

“Uh yeah, that’s what you do when you work all night.”

Jeremy laughed. It was evil enough that it sent chills down my spine. “Today we’re doing chores. Get changed and back downstairs in 5 minutes.”

DNA part 2ish

(Started writing too late on my commute today so this will be basically nothing 💔)

I took a deep breath as the results flashed up on my screen. English, Scottish, Irish, Norwegian and German. I felt a heavy rock in my chest as I skimmed through the numbers, wondering how they knew this, what it all meant, if it was actually shedding light on who I am.

“Wow look,” Alexa said, shoving her phone under my nose to see her colorful map. “I literally am a mixture of everywhere.”

“Damn you really are…” I swallowed down my anxiety. “You’re 9% Egyptian?? I wonder if you have some royalty ancestors.”

“I doubt it,” she said with a laugh. “What are yours? Look you can break it down by parent!”

“My biological father is British and German.” My voice came out steady, but I paused a moment, staring at the screen.

“You okay?”

“Of course,” I said, “just trying to figure out what to look at next. Is this it?”

DNA

When my phone buzzed in my pocket, I’d almost forgotten the results I’d been obsessively checking for days, hoping they’d be ready earlier than predicted. When my teacher turned around, I checked my notifications, hiding my phone behind my classmates thick, wavy hair.

Ancestry.com: your results are ready!

My heart skipped a beat. I’d done the dna test because my friend, Alexa, was an ethnic smoothie and curious about her roots. Her parents had gotten a 2 for 1 deal, offering me the other, since I didn’t know anything about my dad. I pretended not to care about whatever I found out about my origins, but truthfully, I was nervous. I stared at the notification for a full minute before my teacher realized my lack of attention.

“Joeie, is there something you’d like to share with the class?”

Mrs. Hoffman was the bane of my existence. She had the tendency to tattle on me to my brother, Jeremy, since they knew each other from high school. I was not about to pretend like she deserved a nice answer from me. That lady could choke on an apple for all I cared.

Therapy session with Justin, part 2

I took a moment to process everything Justin had said.  Their mom's overdose -- how painful for the whole family.  Joeie never having a parent.  A kid having to help raise a kid.  I couldn't help but think of all the dysfunction they grew up in.  How Justin is probably doing his best but started so young, he had no idea what he was doing.

"Can you tell me more about your mom's death?"

Justin nodded, swallowing down a lump in his throat.  He looked away for a second, then reconnected with my eyes.  "We were living together... my mom, Joeie, and me.  I had stayed because I didn't trust my mom to fully care for Joeie... but Jeremy and Jonnie had gone.  Our mom nearly overdosed a few months before, but I was home and took care of it, administered the Narcan.  It scared Joeie so much that she begged our mom to get help, and she finally agreed.  She was inpatient for a little while and then going to this intensive outpatient program.  Everything was going so well."  Justin cleared his throat and adjusted himself in his seat.  "Then she relapsed.  I don't know what triggered it.  But I was too late that time."  He sucked in an uneasy breath, then pushed through.  "Joeie was young enough to have cried with me at first.  She had so many questions... I couldn't answer them.  Jeremy was there to help, too.  He never let us see him feel anything about it, but he didn't discourage Joeie's feelings.  Jonnie didn't go to the funeral.  He was pissed off at everything and in the height of his use.  It was a hard time for us though.  I worked on moving us out -- Jeremy helped me buy the house we're living in now, in a much better area.  Joeie made a friend in the neighborhood right away.  But that time was really difficult for me.  I don't think I was always the best guardian for her.  I'm glad Jeremy was there."

random scene

 I recognized Jeremy's truck as soon as he drove into the skatepark's parking lot.  "Fuck," I muttered under my breath.  How did he know I was here?  He would've expected me to be in our local park, not Jersey City.

I skated up to him before he could get out and embarrass me in front of my new friends.  "What are you doing here?" kicking my skateboard up and holding it under my arm.

"Did you forget you're grounded?"

Groaning, I stomped my foot.  I had forgotten.  "Come on, it was just one low test grade, not that big of a deal."

"The agreement was to come home directly after school.  I had a feeling you'd be here.  In the truck.  Now."

"Wait, Jer.  At least let me say bye."

"Go.  If you take too long, I'll deal with you right here in front of them."

what if jeremy went in for a therapy session

"Hi, Jeremy?" I said to the lone man sitting in the waiting room, who had been sitting up straight as he typed out a message on his phone, but immediately looked up on my arrival.  He was my first appointment of the day, 11am, preferring to get this over with as early as possible (he would have done an earlier time if I had any).

He stood, gave me a firm handshake, and followed me quietly to my office.  

Upon arrival, he sat in the same seat Joeie had, near the door, far from me.  I could have guessed that by the lack of interaction so far.  My heart pounded inside my chest, remembering what Joeie had said about his "toxic masculinity" and "anger issues."  That's not my usual type of client.  

"Thanks for coming in," I said as I sat.

"Of course.  This was important to my family.  I can spare a few minutes of discomfort if it keeps my family together."

Interesting way of looking at it.  I got the sense that he just wanted to get down to business, not chit chat.  He would probably dodge my emotional questions and respond with logic.  Why was I so anxious around him?  "What's your understanding of everything going on with Joeie?"

justin's turn

I followed behind Joeie to where Justin sat nervously in the waiting room.  "Your turn," she said, sticking her tongue out playfully.

Justin stood, saying "hi," again and following me to my office.

He sat in a chair closer to mine, in the middle of the room (neither closest nor farthest from the door).  I felt his nervous energy (more than the average guardian I met with) as I closed the door and went to my seat.  When he glanced up at me with his worried brown eyes, I could see his inner child... the little boy who had to take care of everyone before he was ready.  It kinda broke my heart a little.  

"I doubt she told you why we're here."  It wasn't an accusation, more an acknowledgment that he knew his little sister well.  "She would probably give me shit for even hoping that she might have told you."

"Sounds like it might be a long story, with layers that she doesn't quite understand yet."

what i've written of Joeie's background/character profile

 

Joeie Davenport

Age 16 - birthday 9/30/2008

My earliest memory is with my mom and Jeremy when I was 2-3 years old. Something was wrong with her, probably high, and we had just gotten home. Jeremy was pissed and yelling at her about driving while high. I didn’t know that at the time, I was just upset that Jeremy was upset. And when she started crying, I did too. 

Jeremy moved out when I was 3-4, right after he graduated high school and joined the army. I cried every night for him because I missed him so much. He had been the one to take me to and pick me up from preschool everyday. And we went to the park a lot or played together. When he left, I felt like a part of me was missing. Talking to him on the phone periodically wasn’t enough. 

When I was 4, Jonnie broke his leg and had to stay home with me a lot. I was in preschool but when I got back, Jonnie was always there ready to play with me. He taught me how to skateboard, right there in the living room. He helped me write letters to Jeremy who was in basic training. He taught me how to spell my name with “ie” like his. It was convenient timing how he was home more often around the same time Jeremy was gone. Even after his leg got better, I was still attached to him. Sometimes he’d take me to band practice with him and I even had a spot on his first EP, screaming along with a song. All of his bandmates adored me. 

By the time I started kindergarten, Jonnie had moved out, tired of dealing with my moms shit. And he and Justin got into a big fight when Jonnie kept getting in legal trouble. The house felt quiet with only the three of us. Jonnie still visited me and took me out with him sometimes but Justin didn’t really trust him.

therapy part 3

I paused for a moment, straightening up in my seat.  "Joeie, I have so many questions for you, and I'm really curious to get to know you.  But first I want to circle back to something you said earlier.  It sounded like you aren't into the idea of being here today.  So I'm wondering why, actually, are you here?"

"Justin made me come."

"Obviously.  But why?"

She shrugged.  "You'll have to ask him."  Then just closed her mouth, determined not to say more on the topic.

I thought about a response for a moment.  I could get a little sassy with her, which she would probably appreciate the back and forth for a few minutes.  I could pry into the events leading up to Justin's decision.  Or... 

"Fair enough.  So is there anything you're curious about or that you'd like to do in therapy?"

She blinked, then unfolded her arms.  "I can tell you what I don't wanna do."

Therapy part 2

“Oh, that’s a unique way to spell your name,” I said, making a note of it in my iPad. “I like it.”

“Yeah, I like it too. Jonnie was the one who taught me how to write it like that.” Seeing the confused look on my face, she continued, “he’s my other brother. My favorite one,” then gave a side-eye at my door, meant for Justin, I’m guessing.

“What makes him your favorite?”

“Because he doesn’t send me to dumb things like therapy… even though he did agree with Justin for me to give it a try. Actually, if it were just this, I’d probably have to pick Jeremy as my fav because he wouldn’t have made me come here either. But I’m mad at him right now too.”

“Why are you mad at Jeremy?”

The memory made her fists ball up. “He’s got anger issues. He’s the one who needs to be here but won’t. Too much toxic masculinity. Even though he’s gay.”

“What did he say about you coming to therapy?”

Therapy session with Joeie

“Your 4 o’clock is here,” the receptionist told me over my phone speaker.

I thanked her, noticing they were a few minutes early, always a good sign. That gave me enough time to review the email my colleague had sent me.

do you have availability? My client is the legal guardian of his 16 year old little sister and believes she could benefit from therapy. I thought of you because she’s a little oppositional and doesn’t believe she needs to talk to a professional. You guys would be a good fit for each other :)

Great… a teenager who doesn’t want to be here but no explanation of why the adults in her life think she should.

I guess if her brother is her legal guardian, that might have something to do with it. What happened to her parents?

Joeie's Life intro

this blog is dedicated to a new series i want to work on.  i want this to be similar to my livejournal for violet, but on a platform that's easier.  i don't remember how i started the other one though.  i guess i just started 😂🤷‍♀️  

here's what i know about the series so far:

-Joeie Davenport, a 16 year old skateboarder/actress/drummer.  
-Justin Mendoza, the oldest brother, 32 years old and main guardian.  
-Jeremy Mendoza, the middle brother, 30 years old, also lives with them
-Johnnie Mendoza, youngest brother, 28 years old, musician who is usually on tour and does not live with them