Wednesday, October 25, 2023

ch 27 addition (at family meeting)

Before I could retort, Toby chimed in.  “Does anyone else have something to discuss?”

Izaak cleared his throat.

Instantly curious, I turned to my friend.  "Ooooo, Clo, what’d you do?"

"This is about you," Izaak responded plainly, so serious it made my tummy twist into knots.

I chuckled, trying to ignore how excited he made me.  "What?  Me?  You don’t think you’ll get to torture me enough this weekend?"

“I believe it’s better for me to address this in front of the group.”

On the edge of my seat, I urged him to continue.

"When I took you and Chloe to the airport and found the vape pen, you assured me it was yours."

My heart thumped against my chest.  "Yeah, and?  It was.  You know I'm a big pothead and all."  Gabe shook his head at me, already figuring out where this was headed, but I continued to play dumb.  "And you already spanked me for it.  Why bring it up now?  Didn't get enough?  Damn you're more of a sadist than Gabe."

Izaak didn’t play into my aggression, staying as calm as a pilot reassuring passengers that it’s only turbulence.  "It has come to my attention that the weed was Molly's."

It was hard to read him – was he actually upset?  “Okay, fine, but shouldn't you be talkin’ to her about this?”

“I already did.”  Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Molly uncomfortably squirming in her seat.  “My ‘beef’ now is with you.”

“Why, though?  Bro, it really ain’t that big of a deal.”

Saturday, September 2, 2023

gabe/chloe after violet's relapse

"My office.  Now." Gabe barked through the speaker of my desk phone, startling me because I didn't even know he could do that.  

I smoothed down my skirt as I entered his office, seeing a makeup-less Violet seated in front of his desk, dark circles under her bloodshot eyes.  As I glanced up at Gabe, an electric bolt shot through my gut, telling me my biggest fear had come true.

"Sit," he ordered, pointing to the chair next to Violet.  "You're dismissed," he told her, much to Violet's disapproval.

"Bro, we should all talk this out.  We could figure out a win-win solution."

Gabe's response to her argument was a hard stare, an expression that told me Violet was currently sitting on a warm bottom and if she didn't want more, she'd better obey.  That thought made me squirm in my seat as I wondered how this scene would unfold.

Of course Violet broke first.  "Fine," she said with an eyeroll, then turned towards me.  "I'm sorry, but I had to tell him, especially after everything with Andy."  

My heart sped up as she stood and left, door slamming so loudly that I jumped in my seat. There was a moment of uneasy silence, but then Gabe spoke.  "You've lied to me, Chloe.  For months."

I tried to steady my voice, my eyes welling with regret. "I-I'm sorry.  I should've told you."

"Damn right you should've," he snapped back, his words a whip crack of frustration. "You put this firm, my reputation, and my client's future at risk because you couldn't trust me enough to come clean."

toby & molly convo continued

"I heard things have been rough with Adam lately," Toby said, reaching out for the weed to roll a joint for me.  He was in a "service sub" type mood, which was usually my jam more than his, but I guess he'd been broken down quite a bit over the last few weeks.

"I know you think I should break up with him."

"It doesn't really matter what I think.  Do you see me in any type of relationship?"

I smiled then brought my knees to my chest, hugging them for a moment as I watched his fingers navigate the rolling papers with ease.  "When was the last time you were in a relationship anyway?"

He shook his head.  "A real official relationship?  Not since college."

"But you dated Vic for a minute."

"Yeah, just dated though.  It's not like either of us brought the other home."

"Do you want a relationship?"

Toby licked the paper, sticking it together then handing me the joint.  I knew he didn't want to answer this question, but since he felt guilty he would anyway.  "It's hard to admit and also hard to deny."

"What a non-answer," I teased.

"When I get in relationships, things like my manic episode happen.  Maybe I'm not ready yet."

"Will you ever be ready?"

Toby shrugged, not really looking me in the eyes.  It was weird seeing him like this, kinda defeated.  "I don't know."

Friday, September 1, 2023

Toby’s apology to Molly

“It was wrong of me to lash out at you like that, and I’d like to explain what happened with me.”

His remorse made me uncomfortable. “It’s okay, you don’t have to, I understand and forgive you…”

Toby gave me a pleading look. “I want to, as long as it doesn’t infringe on your boundaries.”

As if I had boundaries? So I nodded to let him continue, squirming in my seat. Why did this make me feel so icky? It kind of reminded me of my dad maybe. But my mind wasn’t ready to go there yet, which piqued my curiosity. I always attributed most of my problems to my mom.

The thoughts made me take a hit off of my vape pen, and out of politeness I offered Toby some. “Nah,” he responded, not giving me his admonishing big brother look like normal. “I think weed is part of what set off my manic episode in the first place.” I cocked an eyebrow since he rarely participated in my favorite recreational activity. “When we were on vacation. I mean, it wasn’t the whole trigger. I hadn’t realized how bad Chloe was for me. I’m trying to not beat myself up even though I think I should’ve known better. But she brought out a side of me that feels good. My nurturing self. When someone wants help, i feel confident that I know what to do. It feels like I have control, but then at some point that power starts slipping away. It turns into an addiction, like if I don’t ‘help’ it’s dangerous. Chloe made me feel powerful and in control, but I wasn’t. And when I finally noticed I was feeling used, it was too late. That’s when you had your work thing and I took out my anger on you. And I am…. Was… upset with you too, but more upset with Chloe and myself.”

Saturday, August 5, 2023

snippet of next chapter

Lost in a web of high school revenge fantasies, my phone buzzed, snapping me back to reality.

It was Toby: Weekend plans?

My eyes narrowed, and I typed back a curt "nope" as the irritation stirred within me. Toby seemed to be stepping into the same micromanagement shoes as Gabe. I was about to fire back a sharper reply, "I don't need another weekend of babysitting," but just before I could hit send, the phone started ringing.

"You're seriously texting me and then calling right away?" I couldn't help but let the annoyance seep into my voice.

Toby brushed off my snark. "Hey, noticed anything weird with Molly? Has she been acting off to you?"

"Stranger than normal? Nah, not really. She's probably just pissed at herself for being the queen of procrastination." I paused as a memory hit me—Molly's request for adderall. Oh yeah, I needed to get her sorted with that. "And by the way, could you maybe scribble me a 'script for some addys? My ADHD's runnin' wild these days."

"How so?" Toby's tone turned serious.

"Usual stuff. Can't focus on shit, thoughts are everywhere like confetti, can't get a damn thing done."

"Exercise. You're still in the withdrawal phase from coke. Introducing another substance right now isn't a good idea for at least a couple of weeks. Plus, you know I can't legally prescribe anything for you, so best not to even bring it up."

I heaved an exaggerated sigh. "Well, thanks for the impromptu lecture. So, what was it you actually wanted? Just to chat about Molly?"

Monday, June 19, 2023

after violet's relapse 2

“What prompted the decision to request an emergency session today?”

I sat across from my therapist, arms folded, not really into the idea of talking this all out. Clo needed me to help her before Gabe turned her in, and I’d already begun working on my plan, but not being there to oversee everything was making me anxious. “Gabe,” I responded, clenching my fists.

There was an awkward silence as I stewed in my anger, until my therapist finally asked, “do you plan to elaborate?”

I looked up. “Yeah, sorry. I relapsed. He told me to ‘get support’ and all of my friends seem to be out of commission, like always. I’m not sure what other support I could’ve found.”

He nodded. “I see. And what kind of support do you need?”

My shoulders bounced in a shrug. “You can do your shrinking thing.”

There was a slight hesitation. He was probably thinking about what a terrible therapy patient I am, which wouldn’t be the first time I heard that. “Okay. What do you think drove you to relapse?”

“Fuckin’ Andy.” I grumbled a few obscenities under my breath.

When I didn’t elaborate, he straightened up in his chair and observed, “it often doesn’t feel like I’m pulling teeth to get an answer, but today it seems like you're not into talking about what’s going on with you.”

I took a deep breath and finally relaxed my body a bit. I’d been tense with anger and worry. “Sorry. I’ve got a lot on my mind.” I tried to steady my racing thoughts, explaining the Andy situation and my poker game.

“Sounds like you were feeling concerned for Clo getting in trouble.”

“I still am. I ended up finally telling Gabe, hoping he’d cut us both some slack, but he doesn’t give a fuck. Nobody ever cares about anyone but themselves. Fucking narcissist.”

Before I continued on my rant, he said, “wait, correct me if I’m wrong, but Clo did commit a crime, right?”

“Yeah but nothing nearly as bad as what the client did to her. She was a vulnerable kid, and he took advantage.”

“Are we still talking about Clo?”

“Yeah, who the fuck else would we be talking about?”

“What feelings are coming up for you right now?”

“I’m fucking pissed!”

“Pause. Let’s breathe into that anger because we’re not going to get anywhere until you’re back at baseline.”

I growled under my breath but closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths with his direction, then opened again, seeing my surroundings more clearly finally. “I’m feeling powerless,” I said in a low voice, slumped in my seat and noticing tears wanting to form.

“Does this feeling remind you of anything?”

“The first memory that comes to mind is my cousins. My uncle being a dick to them, me wanting to do whatever I could to stop the beatings. Sometimes it worked.”

“What specific incident comes to mind?”

A lightbulb went off in my brain as I made the connection. “The first time I ever used was after he beat my littlest cousin. I felt so helpless hearing her cries. I was just there in the other room, but kind of frozen. She was in trouble for something that felt like my fault… I don’t remember what it was. I had to leave. Andy and I weren’t dating, but I saw him on the streets that day, he recognized me from school, invited me to Dominic’s. Gave me a line. It felt so powerful. I felt so confident. If that man touched my cousin, I thought I could beat the shit out of him. When I got home late, my aunt and uncle yelled at me, but it didn’t affect me at all. I yelled back. I was ready to kick his ass. When I got loud, they backed off. I told them crazy shit too… like I was joining a gang and I’d send someone to shoot him if he kept fucking with my cousins. Honestly, I dunno if the beatings stopped after that or I just wasn’t home as much.” I paused, wiping a few tears away. “I also shared the coke with my cousins, which is kinda fucked up, but felt like what they needed to get back power against this fucker.”

My therapists nodded, following along. “So cocaine started out as a way to feel powerful against bullies.”

“Yeah, and I guess also a way to turn attention from my innocent cousins onto me. I wanted him to try to hit me. I wanted to provoke him to that point. I would’ve ended him if it happened.”

“I wonder if a part of you thought using last night would help protect Clo from her consequences?”

My nose scrunched up in confusion, but honestly it did kinda make sense.

“At the very least, it would buy you more time by taking the attention off her for a few days.”

I nodded. “Yeah, that would make sense. That sounds like me.”

Sunday, June 11, 2023

chloe with the cia

toby connects chloe to the CIA because they are looking for someone with a special interest in spanking. they've tried non-spankos before, but now they need an actual spanko because the bad guy knows the difference.

chloe accepts the job in exchange for not having to go to jail. they train her and get her ready for the mission. idk what her job is yet. part of getting her ready is making spanking videos for a fake onlyfans page.

the bad guy finally chooses her and offers to fly her out to whatever middle eastern country he's in. he's royalty so has a luxurious house. chloe soon figures out that the person who messaged her was actually one of his assistants, and she starts developing a crush on him.

maybe there's another woman already there and chloe comes because he's tired of her? idk

Tuesday, May 16, 2023

after violet's relapse

I took a deep breath, pushing the door open to Gabe's office.  "What was so important it couldn't wait a couple of hours?" 

The irritated tone made my stomach rumble, a mixture of anger, fear, and guilt.  "Why do you always have to be a dick about everything?" I said, stepping towards his desk.

Gabe leaned back in his chair, hands folded in a pyramid.  His eyes looked tired and annoyed, which made me regret coming here in the first place.  Confessing would just make everything so much worse... like being entrapped in a fire.  "I'm waiting," he said impatiently.

"It's... a lot," I said, sitting across from him.

"Go on."

"The short version is... Andy bribed me into playing a poker game for him, and..." I looked down, unable to face him.  "There was coke, and I... used again..."

There was a pause that felt like it lasted for hours, then Gabe finally said with a sigh, "Dammit Violet.  What the hell were you doing with that punk again?"

Saturday, May 13, 2023

random scene

"You ran off this morning before your spanking," Izaak said, guiding me to the couch as soon as I walked in from work.

I gulped, hoping he'd forgotten about that, but of course he didn't.  "I wanted to stop at starbucks on my way..."  My voice trailed off as he sat down, pulling me towards him.

"You wanted to get out of your punishment," he said matter-of-factly.  It wasn't a question, so I stayed silent, squirming as he reached for the button of my slacks.  "Do that again and you'll get extra, understood?"

"But...." I whined, giving him a pathetically adorable face as he unbuttoned and unzipped my pants, tugging them and my panties down to my knees.  He was about to put me over his lap when we heard a light thud on the floor.  

Izaak muttered something under his breath, then reached down, retrieving my vape pen.  His nostrils flared.  "What the hell is this?" he demanded.  "You took weed to work?"

"I... um... it was for the walk home..." I stammered, face flushing bright red.

He shook his head at me, not buying it.  "Go to the corner," he ordered, so firm I didn't question it.  My heart pounded against my ribcage as I shuffled to the corner, pants and panties still at my knees.  I wanted to pull them up but knew better than to try.

Wednesday, May 10, 2023

the little bit i ended up writing last night

“Yo, I’m out,” I said, trying to get Andy to fucking move out of my way. He was sloppy drunk and trying to charm me back into his life.

“C’mon goddess. One more hand with these bitches. You’re killin’ it.” He leaned in, breath warm against my neck. “I gotta prize for your next win.”

I slapped his arm. “Get the fuck off me, I don’t want your smelly ass.”

But he hadn’t been offering himself as the prize — he flashed a baggy of white powder at me and my nose started tingling. I got all dizzy with memories of the euphoria I’d experienced under the influence. He was offering me what would easily sell on the streets for $200.

Part of me didn’t want to even open that door again, because it’s insatiable. The cravings come back so strong, chasing the high, but the high is never good enough.

But I sat back down at the table, determined to win the game. By sunrise I’d won Andy more money than I’d earned working for gabe, and snorted enough coke to have my allergies acting up. As I stumbled out of the bar and glanced at my phone, it suddenly hit me: I’d done exactly what gabe and Toby had warned me about.

Fuck.

Tuesday, May 9, 2023

violet's relapse

"Just think, if you were smart enough to figure out how to hack the memory card yourself, you wouldn't be in this situation."  Andy paced in front of me with a menacing grin.

I glared, feeling the fire ignite in my chest, getting me ready to kick his ass.  "No, I wouldn't be in this situation if you'd mind your own fuckin' business and stop tryin' to get into mine."

"Told ya I ain't rollin' with kids anymore.  Your friend fucked with me, and I fuck back harder."

"What do you want, Andy," I said through clenched teeth.

"Revenge."

"Nah bro, I wouldn't be here if that was all.  There's a reason you haven't released the video yet.  What the fuck do you want?"

"There's a poker game tonight on 49th."

"And you want me to hustle."

"Ahh looks like you are a little smarty pants," he said with a laugh, pinching my cheeks.

I swatted him away.  "Then you'll leave me and my friends alone, got it?"

"Sure."

I pushed him up against the wall, hand around his throat.  "I mean it."  

It felt good he was still scared of me.  But the whole scene made me feel disgusting and pathetic.  

We walked to Andy's souped up Audi, I taking the front seat, making his meathead friends stuff themselves into the back.  When he started the car, loud bass shook the speakers and my eardrums.  It felt like I was 17 again.  A pit formed in my stomach, wondering why I'd ever thought this boy was cool, why I allowed myself to get caught up in his charm.  

Monday, May 8, 2023

violet+gabe, he knows

"I know it's Chloe."

My body froze, though still felt a sense of relief.  I was tired of hiding.  "How?"

"You know how."  That meant Molly told him.  "You've been sitting on this information for three weeks.  Why am I just now hearing about it?"

"Because Molly has a big mouth."

Gabe took an angry step toward me.  "I shouldn't have heard it from her at all!" he said, now close to shouting.  "Especially about a case that I told you from day one was confidential."

My instinct was to match his tone, maybe even raise it higher.  But maybe I really had been working on myself, because I kept it cool.  "Sorry.  You're right."

"This is exactly what fucked us over last time — you lying to me."

I glanced into his eyes to see a flame of fury still there, a betrayal he hadn't been able to resolve.  "I know."  My mouth almost let out an excuse, but I kept it in.  Now wasn't the time.  Toby would be proud.

Gabe paused for a moment, staring at me hard.  It was almost like he didn't believe what was happening and had to figure out if this was a dream.  Then he let out a sigh and looked away.  "Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"I was waiting for tangible evidence like you requested."

His eyebrows raised.  "And her confession wasn't enough?"

"I didn't get a recorded confession, and she asked for a little grace, which I gave her.  Then the situation with Molly and Toby happened and we got behind on our timeline."

Sunday, May 7, 2023

violet's weekend with chloe/izaak

“Hey, this might be a crazy question,” I said, the weed having dulled my (already barely existent) filter.

Clo glanced over at me, blue eyes twinkling from the streetlight.

“Were you involved with the Winters stuff? Are you Pattie Cake?”

It was too dark (and I too stoned) to notice her facial expressions, but she was a good actress anyway so I probably wouldn’t trust them. “What?” She asked, tone giving off a sense of confusion. “Where did this come from? Are you asking if I’m a criminal?”

“Kinda, yeah.”

There was an awkward silence as we both waited for the other to speak. So far, she hadn’t become defensive, so I still wasn’t sure what to think.

“I’m not,” she finally said. “And I’m confused about why you think that.”

“Yo, it was just a question. Your name came up in my list of suspects. Chloe Peterson, right?”

“Patterson,” she corrected.

“Because at the meeting izaak said…”

“He always gets it wrong. Mixes me up with an old army buddy we went to school with.”

“Oh, okay.” Tbh it made me feel good. She said exactly what I wanted to hear. “Good. I wouldn’t want to rat out a friend.”

idk about this

It felt weird, being here in Clo's space, knowing her secret.  It was also hard to play dumb, but I was taking Molly's advice and trying not to jump to conclusions like I always do.  Not until I had some sort of proof anyway.

"What's the most badass thing you've ever done?" I asked her when we were in bed, as I lay on my side, propped up on one hand, rubbing my still-warm bottom with the other (gotta love bedtime spankings).

Clo was on her back, staring at the ceiling.  I noticed her breathing get shallow for a split second (ok, it might've been my imagination, who knows) before she responded.  "I'm not much of a badass..."

"Bullshit... you just want to seem all innocent.  C'mon, tell me."

She let out an uncomfortable giggle.  "Okay, but you can't tell anyone."

"Like who?  Sergeant Douche?" I laughed, hearing him snoring in the other room.  "He snoozes, he loses."

[[[no idea how she's going to answer this]]]

x-x-x-x

I suspected that if Izaak was any good as an FBI agent, he'd already know about Clo.  But I'd had no luck with extracting info from her, and Izaak seemed harder to crack.

Maybe Molly's right and I'm just jumping to conclusions.

Saturday, May 6, 2023

molly & vic vacation scene

Vic and I were the only two left awake, sitting on the beach as the sky began to brighten.  We'd been telling funny stories the last few hours, until Toby left and then we just sat there in a peaceful quiet, focused more on the waking seagulls and ocean waves crashing.  Until Vic finally spoke.

"Do you wanna talk about Adam?"

"Nah.  Do you wanna talk about Arizona?"

"It was awful," he admitted, shaking his head.  "Seeing what they're doing to those kids.  Having proof of how corrupt the system is.  I don't know know how much longer I can do this.  It's too depressing."  Vic paused, gazing out at the horizon, probably remembering some of the horrors he'd witnessed.  Then he looked back at me.  "I'm sure you can relate."

"Yeah, social work school was the most depressing two years of my life."

"I remember."

"Is it possible to do lighter topics?  Wasn't there a reporter who did a series about bdsm and kink?"

Vic shrugged.  "Yeah, I know who you're talking about.  But my team doesn't do those kinds of assignments.  I would have to apply to switch departments which seems like a pain in the ass.  But I dunno.  Maybe it would be worth it."  He took a long drag off the joint, looking at me when he passed it back.  "Are you okay?"

I didn't really know how to answer.  "I think I'm starting to fall for Gabe..."

"Starting to?  Honey... you've been into him for a minute."

I rolled my eyes, thankful it was still dark enough he couldn't see me blush.  "Maybe.  But I think he could be into me, too."

Friday, May 5, 2023

snippets that were in my mind today

"What the fuck, you're still going to punish me with that bullshit even though I'm here admitting it to you?  Not fucking fair," I spat, reaching for the door.

"Hey," Gabe said in a voice 10,000 times calmer than mine, and I turned around to look at him.  "I'm proud of you for coming clean about relapsing.  But you know I have to do it."

"Why?"  My eyes were narrowed at him, waiting for a smartass response.

"You have little respect for people who break promises."

My mind flashed back to the day I met Gabe, when I was kicked out of my aunt's house, about to sleep in the streets if it weren't for him (and Molly, of course).  I'd been pissed at Vic for bailing out on a promise, and made it known that I blamed him for all my problems.  Nostalgia is so bittersweet.

I wanted to say "you're right," but the word "whatever" fell out instead.  Then I stormed out of Gabe's office and headed home.

x-x-x-x

"What else do you have to confess?" Gabe asked from behind me. 

I kept my head buried in my arms, body racked with sobs as I cried out all the guilty feelings I'd tried to avoid over the last month.  "V-Violet's... c-case...." I paused to catch my breath, then said quickly, "it's Chloe," and cried out another ton of tears.

I felt Gabe's pause, which sent a ball of ice to my stomach.  "What."  He said it simply, not a question, no confusion, as if he knew what my vague wording meant.  

"Don't tell her I told you," I cried, wiping my eyes and turning back towards Gabe.  

Thursday, May 4, 2023

random izaak/violet travel scene

"Now's not the time to test my limits."

"Ooooo, what'll happen if I do?" I teased, nudging him.

"Esperanza!"  Izaak's tone was so powerful it made my heart flutter.  "I am not joking.  Neither of us want me to react to you in real anger."

"You sure about that?" I said with a wink.

Izaak grumbled something under his breath, then reached for my upper arm and dragged me to a deserted area, out of eyesight from anyone walking on the path we'd been on.  "We're going to take care of this now," he said, finding somewhere to sit, "because I don't want any trouble from you the next couple of days."

"Maybe you need someone to take your anger out on," I suggested as he yanked down my shorts and panties, then put me over his lap.

"I will decide that, not you."

"Maybe you should let your guard down and..." the spanking began, stingy and fast, clearly a response to me telling him what to do... but I didn't back down, "LISTEN TO OTHER PEOPLE EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE."

"I'm listening to you, as a matter of fact much better than you are listening to me."  

Wednesday, May 3, 2023

molly+gabe convo

[a lot of this was written with chatgpt's assistance]

The warm jets propelled me forward, soothing the tension in my back as I floated in the hot tub, looking up at the dark sky.  I wondered where to start in the conversation with Gabe.  I didn't know how much he already knew and didn't want to bother him with my problems.  He seemed like too important of a person to want to waste his time on my childish issues.  Which is what made this time together even more special.

As he eased into the water next to me, I noticed music in the background — a playlist I'd made for him.  There wasn't much crossover in our tastes, but after knowing each other 11 years, we'd found enough songs for an entire playlist.

"So... I'm going to torture you first..." Asking emotional questions to Gabe always made me so nervous — sometimes he could be more guarded and defensive than even Izaak (but at the end of the day, they both always answered my questions anyway).  "How do you not get attached in relationships?  Like, how do you stay detached?  From people in general?  Why aren't you in a relationship now?  Why didn't you want to marry your ex?"  I finally made eye contact, able to relax a little when I could tell he wasn't annoyed with my questions.

But he had thrown his guard up.  "Are you still having problems with your newspaper guy?"

I poked my lower lip out.  "It's my turn to torture you.  I still have like 45 minutes or something."

Tuesday, May 2, 2023

another snippet

Izaak put his hands on my shoulders and gave me a light shake.  "What are you doing!?  Are you trying to get yourself killed?"  His nostrils flared like he was about to blow fire out of them.  

I cowered a little, half-heartedly trying to break free from his grip.  

"Molly, enough," Izaak barked, causing me to freeze for a minute.  He must've realized how scary he sounded because he took a deep breath and then just pulled me in for a tight hug.  Still shaken up from my near-death experience, it took me a moment to fully melt into his embrace.  I focused on the thumping of Izaak's heart, reminding myself I was safe.

He finally released me from the hug, though kept me close, leading me to his truck.  I settled into the passenger's seat, buckling up and shivering as I waited for him to come around.  When he finally entered, I said, "I'm sorry."

Closing the door behind him, Izaak looked at me.  "I know you are."  Before I could blurt out my excuses, he cut me off.  "And I know you were trying to help out a client.  But it is beyond your duties to make home visits alone to a dangerous situation.  You should have called the police."

"I called you," I said, poking out my lower lip.

Izaak shot me a glare.  "After the fact.  You got really lucky today, Molly.  Look at me."  I peered into his stern eyes.  "If you ever put yourself in danger like that again, I'll make you regret it.  Understood?"

I gulped.  "Yes (Sir?)"

Monday, May 1, 2023

random snippet scenes

"Chloe, we're here for you, you don't have to do it all on your own."

My eyes were squeezed shut, I was curled up, trying to hide myself.  Having support felt weird.  I didn't feel strong enough to show my face.

"Life is too hard to have to go through alone.  That's why we have families.  That's why you have us."

Molly was speaking to me as if I were an abandoned or lost puppy, but I hated being treated as fragile.  Yet I was so fragile in that moment.  The vulnerability was humiliating.  Everyone knew my secret.  

Izaak sighed, probably getting frustrated with my lack of response.  "You can't just not eat," he said, not as angry as I'd expected.  There was a hint of worry behind his need to control.

"This isn't working," Violet finally said, then I felt a PLUNK! on the floor next to me.  Seconds later I felt her bony arms wrapped around me in a hug.  She squeezed me tight and awkwardly, and suddenly I realized she was crying too.  But classic Violet, she spoke with no shame.  "You need to stop wearing the mask of a badass bitch all the time and just be you, for better and for worse.  We're tired of you hiding.  We're not going to let go, no matter how much you fight it, you should know better by now.  Let us be there for you like you were there for me."

Her words shocked me so much — I was there for her?  When??  — I couldn't help but pull away from her embrace and glance up at Violet.  

Sunday, April 30, 2023

intro to ch27

"Twelve cents?  Are you fucking kidding me?"  

I looked over my shoulder with a smirk, Gabe standing there with the credit card and receipts we'd returned to him yesterday.  "You just now saw that?  No big deal, it's only a few pennies," I said nonchalantly,  turning back to my laptop where I was stalking online yearbooks for Pattie Cake.

"I'm sure you didn't forget what I warned you before I left."

"Yeah, 'one cane stroke for each cent.'  You made it clear you wanted a nice even number like 12."  I clicked to the next page, prompting Gabe to check out what I was doing.

"Shouldn't you be working instead of reminiscing about high school?  Where are we on Winters?  I hope you did more in Seattle than smoke weed and visit tourist attractions."

Shooting him a glare I said, "Fuck off, you know I did or you wouldn't have trusted me with this case?"  He folded his arms, half-smiling, half-annoyed at my attitude.  "I have most of the pieces and am narrowing down my list of suspects.  I'll have a name for you soon."

"You need to get solid enough evidence against her to even the playing field with what she has on Winters."

"Bro, I know that," I snapped.  "You need to get off my fucking back and trust me to do the job you're paying me for."

Sunday, April 16, 2023

therapy session with Molly

"Okay, finished," Molly said, sitting back in her chair to glance over the sandtray she'd made.  

"What was it like to create this image?"

"I have no idea what any of this means, but it was fun."  When I didn't comment, she continued.  "I guess the tinkerbell in the middle is kinda like me, and I like turtles and cats, I guess that's crackers next to me.  Turtles just seem so chill so I also wanna have a turtle with me.  And cats are good companions, they don't need too much from me.  The soldier guy reminds me of Izaak — he's kinda the whole reason I'm here today, which is a little surprising since normally it would've been Toby.  Izaak didn't really give me a choice.  It's like he saved me.  And I put the ambulance on there I think because it feels like Izaak saw me as dramatically worse than anyone else did.  He's kinda like that."

She paused, lost in her thoughts for a minute before going on.

"The top left corner is all the turmoil I feel like I've been in lately, and the pills is what usually saves me.  Because paradise is blocked off by a wall and that germ-y gross guy.  The only thing that can get me through is drugs."  Molly looked down, ashamed at her statement.

Sunday, April 2, 2023

3rd family meeting expanded

We all took turns discussing our week and enjoying each other's company.  I tried to stall the talk of spanking as long as possible, sharing fun little details from the week, until Gabe finally put an end to it and confronted the group about me going over budget.

I batted my eyelashes, trying to sway him.  "C'mon, it's just 12 cents, bro.  It's not that serious."

"We agreed to you having a strict budget to help curb your impulsive spending."

"I wasn't spending impulsively though!"

"No, I'm sure you carefully planned it out.  Twelve is the perfect number of cane strokes, isn't it?"

My cheeks blushed as I let out an uncomfortable giggle.  Gabe knew me too well.

"I'd hoped your tendency to protect your friends would prevent you from stepping out of line on this, but it didn't.  And the two of you agreed to 1 stroke for every penny over budget.  So the first order of business is 12 lashes each."

My mouth opened to argue, but Izaak cut me off with his booming voice.  "And I have another matter to bring to attention."

Instantly curious, I turned to my friend.  "Ooooo, what did you do, Clo?"

"Against you," Izaak responded plainly, so serious it made my tummy twist into knots.

I chuckled uncomfortably, trying to ignore how tingly he made me.  "Me?  What did I do?  I think you're trippin', bro.  You're already gonna torture me all weekend and now you wanna add onto it?"

"When I took you and Chloe to the airport and found the vape pen, you assured me it was yours."

My heart thumped against my chest.  "Yeah, and?  It was.  You know I'm a big pothead and all."  Gabe shook his head at me, already figuring out where this was headed, but I continued to play dumb.  "And you already spanked me for it.  Why bring it up now?  Didn't get enough?  Damn you're more of a sadist than Gabe."

"The weed was Molly's, and she gave it to Chloe," Izaak said, tone a little more forceful now, which made me flinch before I glared playfully at my best friend.

"What the fuck, did you rat me out??"

"She did not.  But if we're all part of this family and helping each other out, I expect honesty from you.  How am I supposed to fulfill my role as mentor if you jump in to sacrifice yourself and let everyone else off the hook?"

My eyes gave an exaggerated roll at his seriousness.  "Yo, it ain't that big of a deal.  Why are you trippin' so much?"

"Is it true, Violet?  You interfered with Izaak's mentorship over Chloe?"  Gabe shook his head, but was smirking under the fake disappointment, because he loved the idea of me getting spanked extra.

"Don't act like this was a rule I supposedly broke."

"Sounds like adding your bullshit where it doesn't belong.  You need to be taken down a notch from always jumping into everyone else's business.  I vote in agreement of Izaak spanking you."

"Of course you do."

Izaak launched into a never-ending lecture about respect, and Gabe chimed in periodically.  With the two of them banding together against me, there was no use even listening, no way I'd get a word in to argue.  So instead I glanced over at Toby, who looked on curiously, and Molly, who seemed rattled with guilt.

Now the two men were having a talk about how they planned to deal with us.  It was decided that Gabe would administer the 12 lashes with the cane, and Izaak would follow up with the wooden spoon.

"Violeta, Chloe, do you have a rebuttal?" Toby asked.

"First of all, this is bullshit.  Clo didn't even do anything wrong, they're just using her to manipulate me.  Second of all, ain't I supposed to be a loyal friend?  There was never any dumb rule about lying.  And another thing, maybe Clo agreed to the budget stuff with Gabe, but how was she supposed to know I spent more?"  I probably had a thousand more brilliant arguments to make, so kept going a little longer, until Toby finally stopped me.

"If you decide to go to law school, please work on focusing on the key points that really matter."

"Fuck off," I responded with an eyeroll.

"She's right though," Molly said.

"Thank you!"

"Chloe didn't have anything to do with Violet taking the blame for the oil, so I don't think she should be punished for that.  And we don't know if she knew about the money being spent."

Everyone looked at Clo and I wanted to answer in her place cuz she can plead the 5th, right?  But Gabe reached his hand up to pop me if I didn't let her answer for herself.

"I knew about the budget and..."

"Bro, don't answer more than what they ask!"  And then a hard swat to my bare thigh.  "Ow, fuck!" I yelped, rubbing out the sting.

Molly spoke again.  "Yeah, I still don't think she should get punished for it."  Then she looked at Toby.  "What do you think?"

Toby pondered it for a moment, making us sit in this awkward silence for much longer than my ADHD brain can stand, but Gabe's fierce glare kept me in line.  "I agree that Chloe shouldn't pay the consequences for Violeta's loyalty.  However, she did make a contract with Gabe to accept punishment if the budget was over.  If it was a prior agreement, I don't believe our vote even matters."

"I disagree.  She shouldn't get in trouble for it."  Molly didn't really have an argument, she just felt guilty and thought that saving Clo would ease her conscience.

"Easy solution, we've already picked a tie-breaker," and within seconds, my brother's voice sounded over Toby's speaker phone.  Without giving specific details, he explained the situation to Vic, asking his opinion.  I was too pumped up with arguing that I kept it up, claiming that Toby had told the story unfairly, swaying Vic's decision.  I tried everything.

"Face it, you lost," Gabe said, amusement in his eyes.  He stood, grabbing the cane and wooshing it through the air.  "I should give you double for all your backtalk.  Skirt and panties off," he ordered.

3rd fam meeting

"I have a second complaint," Izaak said, voice booming.

"Ooooo, what else did you do, Clo?" I teased.

"Against you," Izaak responded plainly, so serious it made my tummy twist into knots.

I chuckled uncomfortably, trying to ignore how tingly he made me.  "Me?  What did I do?  I think you're trippin', bro.  You're already gonna torture me all weekend and now you wanna add onto it?"

"When I took you and Chloe to the airport and found the vape pen, you assured me it was yours."

My heart thumped against my chest.  "Yeah, and?  It was.  You know I'm a big pothead and all."  Gabe shook his head at me, already figuring out where this was headed, but I continued to play dumb.  "And you already spanked me for it.  Why bring it up now?  Didn't get enough?  Damn you're more of a sadist than Gabe."

"The weed was Molly's, and she gave it to Chloe," Izaak said, tone a little more forceful now, which made me flinch a little before I glared playfully at my best friend.

"What the fuck, did you rat me out??"

"She did not.  But if we're all part of this family and helping each other out, I expect honesty from you.  How am I supposed to fulfill my role as mentor if you jump in to sacrifice yourself and let everyone else off the hook?"

My eyes gave an exaggerated roll at his seriousness.  "Yo, it ain't that big of a deal.  Why are you trippin' so much?"

Tuesday, March 14, 2023

violet and chloe dialogue

"How could you fucking do this to me?  After everything I told you in confidence."

"This wasn't to you... it just happened..."

"It's my turn to talk and your turn to shut the fuck up and just listen to me."

"But you're yelling at me and I don't like it.  Can't you just spank me and get over it that way?"

"No, I'm too mad.  You want a spanking, go to the doc.  I'm not here to cleanse your guilt.  You're the one who fucked up and betrayed our friendship."

Clo looked so pathetic, giving me those puppy eyes as if pity would dissolve my anger.  "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

"What are you even sorry for?  You haven't let me talk!"

"Sorry... for not letting you talk.  Go ahead."

"Goddammit, Clo.  You're so fucking fake, and so good at it.  You just have those pretty big eyes and pouty lips that get you whatever the fuck you want.  No wonder you're a con."  I shook my head, laughing at my fate.  "I'm not gonna tell Gabe yet, but you better figure out a plan ASAP, you know he's been up my ass about getting this shit done."  The server came with our two shots of tequila, so I downed mine fast, and went ahead and stole Clo's, because she'd just put me in a worse position than I'd already been in.

Of course, Toby would say I was actually just mad at myself for already being in this situation.  I should have told Gabe from the beginning instead of waiting for Clo to come to me with the info.  

Tuesday, February 28, 2023

chatgpt scenes

i was having fun with chatGPT last night hehe (sadly it wouldn't write any spanking scenes).  here's some scenes it generated for me:



Violet had hit rock bottom. Her addiction to cocaine had taken over her life, causing her to lose her job, her apartment, and most of her friends. She felt like she had no one left to turn to.

Suddenly, there was a knock at her door. She hesitated for a moment before calling out, "Come in."

The door opened, and there stood her older brother Vic, looking tired and worn down. He walked over to Violet and gave her a hesitant hug.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice cracking. "I'm sorry for not being there for you when you needed me."

Violet felt tears welling up in her eyes as she hugged her brother back. They sat down on her bed, and Violet began to explain what had been going on with her.

She had been struggling with addiction, she told him, and it had taken over her life. She had hit rock bottom.

Vic listened to her, feeling a mix of sympathy and anger. He knew that addiction was a disease, but he couldn't help feeling betrayed by his little sister for letting it get so bad.

But as they talked, Vic began to see the pain and remorse in Violet's eyes. She was truly sorry for what she had done, and she wanted to make things right.

For the first time in months, Violet felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe, just maybe, she and her brother could find a way to move past their differences and rebuild their relationship.

Thursday, February 23, 2023

violet's thoughts about meeting toby

Toby's the type to let everyone else talk and never contribute to the conversation.  Ha, that's what makes him a good shrink I guess.  But I like to ask questions, sometimes "too personal" (whatever that means), and I've been told that I don't know when to stop.  

He's kinda a pro at dodging my questions and distracting me, so despite directly asking him a hundred times if he's into spanking, I never got a direct answer.  I guess I like talking about myself too much.   I described in dramaticized detail the punishments I'd received over the last year, trying to engage him in conversation about it.  Always ended up in some kind of psychoanalysis of me, unrelated to spanking.

He did share other tidbits about himself with me, though.  Like he's from a dysfunctional family, took care of his lil sis a lot, which is sorta how he first related to Vic.  

Actually he and Vic instantly connected.  They met before Toby came to see me in jail, introduced in person by Molly.  When I saw the two of them together, I realized why Toby was so invested in me — he empathized with Vic.  He had to take care of his sis in the same way Vic cared for me.  He'd experienced the same fears and anger and love.  He swooped in for Vic, just like he wished someone had done for him.  

That's how I realized my first impression of him was dead wrong.  Honestly, I'm not sure we'd be here today if I hadn't met him.

Tuesday, February 21, 2023

notes to get back into writing

after violet realizes it's chloe, she flashes back to their trip to seattle and starts seeing everything in a different perspective.  she suspects that chloe found something in the basement, and that's part of her intention in going to stay over there... seeing what she can find on chloe.

third family meeting chapter:

violet is looking through all the yearbooks online, maybe that's what gabe is mocking... 

"You went all the way across the country to find prom pictures?"

"Fuck off.  I'm gettin' close to figuring out who this chick is."

Gabe pointed at the printed credit card charges.  "We'll take care of this 12 cents tonight."

"Shit, I forgot about that."

"Your disobedience is obviously on purpose."

"Yeah, I bought extra snacks on the plane just to make sure you'd have something to beat me for."

"You're gonna regret that."

"Just don't fuck with Clo, she didn't even know I did it."

"Oh, I don't care if she knew or not.  We made a deal."

"Bro, that's not fair."

"I wasn't born yesterday.  Don't you realize I already knew what you were going to do?  I'd hoped Miss Patterson would either be a good influence on you, or a good incentive for your obedience, but I see she wasn't."

x-x-x-x

also chloe can ask violet about jail...

"What was it like being in jail?"

"The worst.  I never wanna go back."  I glanced up to see that she looked paler than normal.  "Why do you ask?"

She blushed.  "Ugh, I hate to admit this... please don't laugh."  She covered her face and I raised my eyebrows with curiosity.