feeling rusty 😅

"Come on... we can break the contract one night."

"We already did.  On vacation."

I rolled my eyes.  "This is fucking stupid.  Just give me my pen baaaaaack."  I stomped my foot, folding my arms in a huff, knowing this wouldn't work on Gabe but unable to resist.

"The last thing I would do is reward your behavior from today with a smoke.  Come on, it's time to get ready for bed."

"It's not a reward, it's mine!  I don't wanna go to bed."  

Gabe sighed, calmly taking my hand and pulling me towards him.  "Look at me."  The sternness in his confident voice made me immediately obey.  His hazel eyes were serious.  "Do you trust me to be in control?"

I didn't even think about it.  "Yes."

"Then that's enough with your tantrums.  Instead of thinking about the weed I'm not allowing you to smoke, focus on my instructions."  He reached up to tuck my hair behind my ear, then lift my chin so I wouldn't look away.  "Get your toothbrush and pajamas out of your backpack, get washed up and changed for bed.  When you finish, get the bathbrush and cream, and bring them to me.  Am I clear?"

I gulped and nodded, teary-eyed.  Gabe bent down and gave a quick kiss to my forehead, finally letting go of my chin.  

As warm and cozy as he made me feel, once I scampered away to follow his directions, the bad thoughts came back.  Toby hating me.  His words playing through my mind on repeat.  All the times I'd fucked up friendships in the past.  My mind telling me what a horrible person I am.

toby molly drama 🎭😅

I tried to look him in the eyes as I spoke.  "I'm sorry... it was so stupid... I won't do anything like this again... please don't hate me..."  I wiped my watery eyes then put my hands together as if praying.  

Everyone was silent for a minute, the only sounds that could be heard were my sniffles.  I didn't know what to say or do, or where we would go from here.  Normally Toby and I led everything while the others were the stars of the show.  But tonight it was all backward...

"Please say something..."  

"What do you want me to say?  I'm still processing that someone of your intellect could do something so… foolish."

"I... just wanted to help..."

"Help?  You think it's helpful for someone with zero medical training to decide what pills a 17 year old girl should take?  And what if she has a bad reaction?  My career is down the drain, and I know you, the guilt would eat you alive."

"That wouldn't happen.  It wasn't anything heavy like xanax..."

His cutting glare made my tummy twist into knots again.  "I don't give a shit what pill you forged my signature on.  You aren't trained to give out medication, period."

I hung my head.  "I thought I was just helping..."

"Your typical pattern of enabling.  You let people overstep your boundaries and think they won't continue doing it, but it happens again and again and you wonder why.  This is why.  You break laws to keep them happy.  Where are they when you take the fall?"

"Bro, what the fuck, back off," Violet said.

vacation late night convo

"I'm going to say it like Violeta would:  Why haven't you dumped that motherfucker yet?  He's stringing you along.  It's not going to change."

"Hey, be nice!" Vic said in a scoldy tone to Toby, smacking him on the shoulder. 

Turning to Vic, he said, "She needs to hear it," then turned back to me.  "You shouldn't put up with his shit anymore.  How long has it been?  What would you tell Chloe if she were in this situation?"

I curled my knees up to my chest, glancing out at the dark ocean that spit waves towards us.  "I don't wanna talk about Adam right now..."  

Toby began to speak, but Vic stopped him from crossing a boundary.  Not that I cared... people rarely respect my boundaries anyway.

"You don't have to talk about him," Vic said, placing a comforting hand on my knee.  "Toby's just jealous cuz he doesn't have some dude of his own to shit talk."  He winked and grinned at Toby, who I predicted would be unimpressed, but instead wore a drunkenly giddy expression.

"I could get anyone I wanted, but I don't need a relationship.  She needs to learn how to be alone."

Vic groaned in frustration.  "Will you stop?!  What's up with you today?  You're being a jackass.  She's entitled to have and experience her feelings.  Why the fuck am I explaining this to a shrink?"  He said it with a hint of Violet's sass, keeping a positive energy as he effortlessly changed the subject.  "So Chloe, has the fam been treating you well so far?  Are we much different from your people back home?"

random snippets

I'd never been broken down in the way that Toby destroyed me.  My body racked with sobs over his lap, feeling like a rag doll.  Strands of messy brown hair were plastered to my cheeks, unmoving when he helped me to my feet.  The guilt was still too strong to allow me to be anything other than submissive.  

"It's all over now, Chloe."  His tone was more gentle now, slightly kind.  I listened for hints of disappointment, but there was none.  "You're forgiven."  It felt like there was more Toby wanted to say, but he stopped himself, frowning slightly as he stood to retrieve the panties I'd left in the middle of the floor.  He returned and sat back in front of me, bending down.  

I didn't realize at first that he was trying to replace my panties.  Besides Izaak, all the other men I'd ever done something like this with, they'd want to take advantage of me afterwards.  Toby wasn't that type... but it's just what I'm used to.  I stepped into the leg holes (? wtf hahaha idk what that's called) and focused on Toby's soft fingers grazing my bare skin.  

When I was less naked, Toby pulled me over to the sofa, taking a seat and bringing me down with him.  His arms wrapped around my trembling body so I could lay my head on his chest.  "Cry as long as you need.  It's just me.  I'm here with you," he promised.