noelia and ramon

I heard everything.  Almost every word of Ramon’s scolding.  How he didn’t turn soft even though she was crying.  The chair scraping the floor.  The hard and fast handspanking mixed with Caro’s yelps.  Then every swat with the paddle.  By that time I was squirming in my own seat, hearing how bad it was for her, knowing it was about to be worse for me.  Because fucking Emilio had to leave me stranded and I couldn’t just come back home like expected.  I was going to spank him for that!  

When the paddling stopped, I began chewing on my fingernail, thumping my leg, because I knew I was next.  I suddenly was really interested in what the cop on duty was saying on his phone call.  There were soft mutterings in the punishment room, which I knew was Ramon giving her a final hug while she sobbed into his chest.  And then…

The doorknob clicked and the door squeaked open.  Caro emerged first, hands on her bottom, face stained with tears, hair matted to her forehead, eyes all red and puffy.  Yikes.

Ramon poked his head out.  “Noelia,” he bellowed in his best authoritative dad-cop voice. 

I jumped slightly in my chair as Caro sniffled, shuffling towards me, easing down on the bench.  

“Let’s go,” Ramon urged, standing to the side so I could go inside.

callie

i couldn't get into writing Joeie because of her age... like it felt fine to think about, but any time I tried to write anything, it felt weird.  But I wanted to keep Jeremy and Justin because... a part of me does want to be Joeie, I just can't write about it in the same way these days.  So I decided to figure out a happy medium... a grad school student who eventually wants to be treated like a little sister.  

x-x-x

The phone call came only a few hours after I arrived alone at my new grad school home in New Jersey (as far away from my hometown as I could get).  It was from my social work fieldwork advisor, and her tone gave away the bad news before she could break it to me.  

“Sorry, Callie, they weren’t able to approve your request.  You’ll have to find a different field placement.”

I let out an exasperated groan.  I’d found the perfect nonprofit to work with, where I’d be able to use my Spanish skills to help immigrants.  The problem was that the supervisor wasn’t a licensed social worker, so couldn’t sign off on my internship hours.  FML.  Now there wouldn’t be much left.

“Maybe I have another opportunity you’d be interested in.  You’ll also be able to work with the Spanish-speaking population, helping out with, like, domestic disputes.”

Why did this start sounding like an episode of Cops?  “What do you mean?  I don’t really want to do therapy…”

weekend trip

I decided to go a different direction with this but... this is where i started 🥰

x-x-x

Caro came to get Noelia and me from the university, where we were doing homework (AKA hanging out and gossiping).  Before she opened her mouth, I knew something was wrong.

“Ramon came into the shop and wants to talk with all of us.”

Noelia scrunched up her nose.  “Ramon?  Why? What does he want?” 

“He didn’t say but I think…”

“Don’t jinx it!” I said, but it was too late.

“... he knows.”

“Fuuuuuuck,” Noelia said, and I could see her heart dropping to her stomach.  “What are we gonna do?”

bell tower

 

“Lexi! What are you doing up there?  Get down here, right now!”

“Just a minute!” I shouted back at Tavo, not bothering to look back because I was in the middle of taking a long exposure shot of the bell with the town behind.  

“You’re not allowed in the bell tower!  How did you get in there anyway?”

“The door was unlocked!”

I heard him grumble something as I checked out my shot, wanting to move the angle just slightly…

“I said get down here, now!  Don’t make me come up there and get you.”

camping

“I got it from Greta’s bag.  She’ll never notice it's missing, she had like forty in there.”  

“Noelia!!  No!  We can’t.”  Caro spoke in a hushed tone even though everyone was far enough away they wouldn’t hear us anyway.

“Ceci, don’t go off too far,” Noelia said, to which Ceci waved her off.

“Did you get a lighter?” I asked.

Noelia grinned, digging into her other pocket.  “Of course I did.”

“Lexi, stop being a bad influence.  Noelia, we can’t.  Ramon would kill us!  And Mateo!  We’d be toast.”

“Dude, Caro, you actually need the weed, because what the fuck.  Chill out.” 

astrophotography

“I’m ready to take my camera to the wilderness.  Monte Seco looks pretty close on the map.  Maybe I’ll go today… clear night, new moon…”

“No.”  

I glanced over at Mateo, not having realized he was even listening to my conversation as he scrambled eggs over the stove.

Noelia rolled her eyes.  “He’s so over-protective sometimes.”

“I noticed,” I said, breaking off a piece of bread and popping it in my mouth.  “How far is it anyway?”

“By car?  Maybe an hour and a half, depending on road conditions.  Probably muddy, right Mat?”

He brought the skillet over, scraping eggs onto each of our plates.  “Not tonight, Lexi.  I’ll take you another weekend.  No buses stop near there, especially this time of year.”

I let out a whine.  “Ugh but I haven’t been able to go anywhere at allllllll.  I’m getting so bored.”

“Imagine living here 19 years,” Noelia said with an eyeroll.

Mateo eyed his little sister.  “If you’re so bored, you can organize the shop like I’ve asked you to a hundred times.”

“Booooooorrrrrrrrriiiiiiiinnnnnnnnggggggg!” 

The two of them playfully bickered for a while as I stuffed my face quickly, wondering whose car I could borrow to go to the national park.  I didn’t know many people, and the ones I did know were too associated with Mateo to ask for this particular favor.  

San Pancracio world

this wasn't meant to be a story... it was just going to be the timeline before the story. but... it's kind of a mixture of both 🤷‍♀️

I found out about San Pancracio on an obscure spanking website, with clips from a movie and a short blurb about it being one of the few places that uses corporal punishment on adults.  My imagination went wild – what it would be like to live in a place like this.  I instantly scoured the internet for more information, digging around until I found the entire documentary on a pirate website.  Yes, I infected my school laptop with viruses just for the sake of spanking.  What would they do, spank me?  As if they’d even notice.  

The documentary was from the early-90s, hazy quality and badly translated Spanish.  An hour and a half of some white girl claiming abuse and sexism.  Clearly editing her footage to support the narrative that this traditional culture should be abolished.  

I wanted to know more, but there was just nothing online about it.  From the documentary, I gathered that adults engage in this process and the council of elders decides whether someone should get punished.  Anyone who breaks a law could get strapped in a semi-public way.  For minor offenses, it’s common for the head of household to administer the spanking.  

Seriously, I couldn’t have dreamt up a fictional town this good!

Staying out all night

“Where the hell have you been?” That’s how Jeremy greeted me when I sauntered in the front door at 8am.

“Out.” I kept my reply quick and tried to go to my room but he stepped in front of me.

“Out where? Justin was worried all night about you.”

“No one told him to worry.”

Jeremy’s jaw tightened. “And no one told you that you can turn your phone off and stay out all night.” I could feel him getting more impatient by the second, ready to snap on me but holding it in. Good. That’s exactly where I wanted him. They were ruining my life, so he deserved it.

“Well, too bad.” I tried to walk past him to my room and this time Jeremy grabbed my upper arm, spinning me back towards him.

“We’re not finished here, Joeie.” I struggled to break from his grip and he squeezed tighter. “Enough!” His tone made my tummy drop so I stopped squirming (for now). “You didn’t even bother trying to sneak in, just came in here head held high like you’re proud of yourself. For what? Keeping your brother up all night? Having me scouring the city for you, praying I wouldn’t find you dead or in the hospital?”

“I was fine,” I insisted, glaring at him.

“We would’ve known that if you had bothered to call or text, but instead you went dark.”

“Whatever, Jer. Can you finish this lecture later? I’m tired and ready for bed.”

His body tensed and I half-expected him to drag me over his knee right then. But he resisted. “You think you’re going to come home and sleep all day?”

“Uh yeah, that’s what you do when you work all night.”

Jeremy laughed. It was evil enough that it sent chills down my spine. “Today we’re doing chores. Get changed and back downstairs in 5 minutes.”

DNA part 2ish

(Started writing too late on my commute today so this will be basically nothing 💔)

I took a deep breath as the results flashed up on my screen. English, Scottish, Irish, Norwegian and German. I felt a heavy rock in my chest as I skimmed through the numbers, wondering how they knew this, what it all meant, if it was actually shedding light on who I am.

“Wow look,” Alexa said, shoving her phone under my nose to see her colorful map. “I literally am a mixture of everywhere.”

“Damn you really are…” I swallowed down my anxiety. “You’re 9% Egyptian?? I wonder if you have some royalty ancestors.”

“I doubt it,” she said with a laugh. “What are yours? Look you can break it down by parent!”

“My biological father is British and German.” My voice came out steady, but I paused a moment, staring at the screen.

“You okay?”

“Of course,” I said, “just trying to figure out what to look at next. Is this it?”

DNA

When my phone buzzed in my pocket, I’d almost forgotten the results I’d been obsessively checking for days, hoping they’d be ready earlier than predicted. When my teacher turned around, I checked my notifications, hiding my phone behind my classmates thick, wavy hair.

Ancestry.com: your results are ready!

My heart skipped a beat. I’d done the dna test because my friend, Alexa, was an ethnic smoothie and curious about her roots. Her parents had gotten a 2 for 1 deal, offering me the other, since I didn’t know anything about my dad. I pretended not to care about whatever I found out about my origins, but truthfully, I was nervous. I stared at the notification for a full minute before my teacher realized my lack of attention.

“Joeie, is there something you’d like to share with the class?”

Mrs. Hoffman was the bane of my existence. She had the tendency to tattle on me to my brother, Jeremy, since they knew each other from high school. I was not about to pretend like she deserved a nice answer from me. That lady could choke on an apple for all I cared.