after violet's relapse

I took a deep breath, pushing the door open to Gabe's office.  "What was so important it couldn't wait a couple of hours?" 

The irritated tone made my stomach rumble, a mixture of anger, fear, and guilt.  "Why do you always have to be a dick about everything?" I said, stepping towards his desk.

Gabe leaned back in his chair, hands folded in a pyramid.  His eyes looked tired and annoyed, which made me regret coming here in the first place.  Confessing would just make everything so much worse... like being entrapped in a fire.  "I'm waiting," he said impatiently.

"It's... a lot," I said, sitting across from him.

"Go on."

"The short version is... Andy bribed me into playing a poker game for him, and..." I looked down, unable to face him.  "There was coke, and I... used again..."

There was a pause that felt like it lasted for hours, then Gabe finally said with a sigh, "Dammit Violet.  What the hell were you doing with that punk again?"

Now I looked back up at him, getting the memory card out of my pocket.  "Remember a couple of weeks ago I said I needed to go to Dominic's to meet an old contact to help me get evidence?"  Gabe nodded and I slid the memory card over his desk to him.  "Pattie Cake is Clo, also known as Chloe Peterson — or Patterson as she told us.  She swiped the card from Sage's house in Seattle, then I found it when I stayed over with her for the weekend.  Andy found out about the evidence, and threatened to turn it over to the media or cops if I didn't play this game for him."

Gabe had been slowly getting angrier and angrier, and I worried he might blow up on me.  "Why am I just now finding out about this memory card?"  His nostrils flared as he kept himself together.  

"I was waiting for tangible evidence like you requested."

His eyebrows raised. "What the hell do you think this is?" he asked, holding the card up

"But I couldn't get into it and didn't know for sure."

"Did Chloe confess to you?"

"I didn't get a recorded confession, and she asked for a little grace, which I gave her. Then the situation with Molly and Toby happened and we got behind on our timeline..."

Gabe shook his head.  "You don't get to decide who gets grace, I do. And if you can't figure out how to get a suspect's confession on record, maybe you aren't cut out for this job."

Now it felt like he was pushing my buttons, and I was about to lose whatever control I had over myself. "Grrr, I never said I couldn't..."

He cut me off. "You withheld information for me, which is exactly what caused us so many problems in the past.  And being dishonest with me is what led you directly back to using drugs again.  Tell me I'm wrong."

My anger and fear dissolved into guilt and shame.  Shoulder slumped, I said, "No, you're right.  I should've told you from the beginning."

Gabe didn't say anything for a minute, probably breathing to calm his anger down, maybe a little surprised that I wasn't fighting more with him.  Tbh, I just felt so defeated, in every direction.  I didn't have much fight left in me, or at least this was a battle I didn't deserve to win.  

"I understand why you didn't come to me sooner," he finally said.  "And I'm proud of you for owning up to your mistakes.  You've come a long way since we first met."

I kinda blushed at his proudness of me... not something I'm used to hearing, and I had no idea how to respond.  "Thanks" was the best I could come up with.

"You're still getting punished, and you know how."

"But..."

"I'm calm right now, but if you keep pushing my buttons, you will regret it."

I gulped.  There was no other response than, "Yes, Sir."

"You need to go home and get some rest.  Other than resting, you have two assignments today:  1) go to the grocery store for ginger root, and 2) find some kind of support for your relapse — therapy or a meeting, it doesn't matter which."

"What about Clo?"

"I'll take care of Chloe and the evidence."

Frowning, I said, "Gabe... please don't just turn her in.  I can figure out a win-win if you just give me time..."

"No.  You've done enough."

I nodded, feeling sad for Clo.  Sure I'd been pissed at her being fake with me, but she'd just made a mistake and had also been dealt a shitty hand in life.  Only now had she finally found a 'family' and it was about to all be taken away.  Even if she'd made some bad choices, it just didn't feel fair.  

As I left the office, I felt a numbness spread over me, reminding me of my parents deportation.  How unfair it felt, how powerless I was.  Back then I couldn't do anything to help them... but maybe I could help my friend.

I pulled out my phone, punching out a text message to Clo:  "call in sick and meet me at dominic's.  i have a plan."