I shifted around uncomfortably in Izaak's suburban after the meeting. There was a blanket of annoyed silence present, which I chose to ignore due to the pain in my ass. At first it felt like he was just upset with me about the oil. After the night I partied with Violet and coke, I wasn't surprised at his annoyance.
But about halfway home, something felt a bit off and suddenly my brain went into panic mode. What if Izaak knows? What if Toby told him? Or Violet? Maybe she found out?
"Are you mad at me?" I finally asked, unable to contain my spiraling thoughts any longer.
Izaak glanced at me. "I'm not mad, I'm disappointed."
My stomach twisted at his cliched response. "Is that why you're being so quiet?"
He kind of shrugged, keeping an eye on the road, seemingly debating how to tell me his thoughts. "Work's been rough lately."
I waited for him to say more, but he didn't, instead back focused on turning into the underground parking lot of his apartment. I wasn't sure how to handle the silence. He never really said that his problem *wasn't* me, but I couldn't help think it was. My life experiences had taught me what to look for when someone's ready to get rid of me, and Izaak currently had that look.
On our way up to his apartment, Izaak checked the mail, passing a letter to me. Strange. I never received snail mail, not even at my old place since I tried to stay off the grid. But this was even a personal message.
Upon arriving upstairs, I fell onto my bed and ripped the envelope open.
Hello friend!
I was just remembering our Vacation Time. The HOME we stayed in with Ralph :)
It was really cool to see you at my place last week. I hope you took back good memories with you.
Have you CALLed Ralph lately? He's expecting!
Take care,
Sage
I re-read the message a few times before figuring out the clues. Somehow Sage had picked up on my need to move again, offering me a safehouse in Vermont with her friend Rafael. We'd talked about him numerous times, a previous anonymous Hacktivist who now only helped people stay off the grid. The only problem was that I didn't know how to get ahold of him.
I flipped the paper over to look for any clues of his phone number, but nothing. Then glancing at the envelope I saw that she had drawn the phone number into the return address.
With a sigh I rolled over to my back, wincing at the burning sensation still present in my posterior from previous spanking. What was I going to do? Should I take up Sage on the offer to stay at a safehouse? We'd always talked about this is what we'd do if we thought the feds were onto us.
I'd never expected it to actually happen. But I guess that's the problem with criminals... we always think we're smarter than the cops.
Izaak poked his head inside, now having changed into his pjs — a black shirt and navy sweatpants. "Can I come in?"
I sat up, folding the letter back into the envelope and tossing it to the side, patting the futon for him to sit at my side.
"Now that we're alone, we should talk." I raised my eyebrows, hoping that he planned on a talk with words. He didn't bring any implements with him, but still had a heavy hand that I didn't want to feel again tonight. A shiver went down my spine as the fleeting thought came to mind: he's about to kick me out.
"We've been at this for a little over two weeks now. How do you think it's going?"
My shoulders lifted in a shrug and I kept my gaze averted from him. He wouldn't speak until I answered him, so I tried to think of what he wanted to hear. That it's going well? That it's not? If it wasn't going well, would he kick me out?
"Chloe, I need you to trust me." Now I looked at him, having not expected him to go that route. "If something's up, no matter what it is, I'll help you, but you have to tell me."
What does he know? "Nothing's up, I just don't know how to answer."
"Who sent you a letter?" he asked, nodding at the envelope I'd tossed.
"Oh, an old spanko friend who's grounded from the internet."
He didn't believe me. "I see."
With his uncomfortable silence again I remembered his original question. "I think this is working out okay. I don't like the spankings, and I really didn't like it tonight, but mostly it seems effective. I haven't smoked any cigarettes in a while."
A weak smile formed on his lips. "I'm proud of you for that, kiddo. Good job."
"Bringing back the weed for Molly was Violet's idea, but I didn't stop her and I should've." I bit my lower lip and let my eyes well up with tears, going for a mixture of adorable and remorseful. My hand reached back and rubbed my bottom. "I think the punishment was adequate."
"Uh huh." Izaak shook his head, clearly not believing me, but also not looking like he wanted to spank me again anytime soon. "I want you to leave drugs alone while you're living here."
"But it's..."
"Not federally legal and I work for the federal government. No drugs at all, Chloe. I'm serious."
I huffed and folded my arms, but I got it. "Fine. I'll stay away from them."
He turned my chin so that I would look at him. "At least be more careful to not get caught."
Our eyes locked for a moment and I could see the concern. In that moment, I knew he knew. I don't know how, and I didn't let myself believe it yet, but his eyes gave me the truth. He was worried that I was about to get caught and was doing everything in his power to protect me.
I leaned in to kiss him, lips locking as I put a hand on his neck. I leaned in more for another, slipping my tongue inside his mouth, playing a little with his before he kind of pushed me off. "We can't."
"Why not?"
He turned slightly and cheeks burned red. "You know why."
"No, really, I don't." I made him turn to look at me now. His eyebrow cocked as he tried to think of an excuse, and without letting him speak I went in for another kiss, rougher this time, and he allowed himself. His long fingers intertwined with my hair as he pushed me back on the bed with his body. I reached for his shirt, tugging it over his head as he did the same for me, then unhooking my bra and tossing it away. His hand cupped my left boob as his mouth moved to suck my right nipple, first playing with it with his tongue, then nibbling on it a little.
Then he worked down my pants and panties, moving his tongue down there, exploring inside me. I moaned in pleasure as he grabbed my sore butt cheeks, reminding me of the spanking I'd gotten for being a naughty girl.
"Do you want me to fuck you?" he growled into my ear.
"Yes, Sir!"
He positioned me on all fours, butt sticking up and out. A light swat landed on my bottom, then another. "Spread your legs wider," he ordered.
I pried my knees apart, bum raising higher in the air. I glanced up at Izaak to see him put on the condom, then he walked behind me, hands on my hips. He teased me for a moment, making me whine and beg for it, finally pushing inside of me.
**i really can't describe this scene... idk what i'll do here**
We fell asleep in my bed, snuggled up spooning. For the first time in ages I had a dreamless sleep, enjoying the protection of his arms wrapped around me. But when I woke the following morning, he was already up and dressed for the run. I immediately looked for the letter from Sage, unsure if it had been moved. Then I admonished myself for suspecting Izaak of doing such a thing.
Instead of thinking about it more, I put on my workout clothes and opened the curtains, smiling at the rising sun.
"Ready?" Izaak asked, looking much less stressed than last night.
I smiled and followed him downstairs, jogging next to him towards the park, smiling the entire time. These few weeks had been tough, but I was doing it. I liked my life with Izaak, even if it felt like he was torturing me sometimes. It really was for my own good.
"You're glowing today," Toby said as we fell into our running routine at the park. "That punishment last night must've been needed."
I blushed and shook my head at him. "Can we meet again this evening when I get out of work? I need to tell you something, confidentially."
He didn't say anything for a moment and I imagined him wondering why he got himself into this mess with me. I didn't want to manipulate him to be on my side, that's something old-me would have done. New-me just wanted the help of my friend. "What time do you get off?"
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