izaak torturing violet 😈

I don't know why I was surprised when Izaak tied me up and threw me in his truck... he'd threatened to do it enough times.  But the actual spanking I hadn't expected.  I knew he had a voyeur kink, but we were literally on the side of a busy street — anyone could've seen!

Not that I was thinking about that as my head knocked against the floor because every swat was so powerful, it jolted me forward.  My bound hands tried to wiggle free, but his tying ability was much better than anyone I'd ever met — I was not getting loose.

"Fuuuuuck, that hurts!"  I couldn't even kick because his right leg was holding mine in place.  "Ayyyy okaaaaaay!  Stoppppp!"

His silence was torturous, but the message was still delivered loud and clear:  he was pissed.

ch18 intro

Sunday I woke up with a bitter taste in my mouth, guilt-free but pessimistic about my ability to keep up with my goals.  As we headed to running group, Toby noticed my mood and tried to perk me up with his annoying reminders:  "The most important is to not be alone when you're triggered.  You have a group of us that you can call.  There's no way we'll all five be busy at once."

"I'm sure it could happen," I grumbled to his disapproval.

"Stay positive.  Find healthier hobbies.  I'm going to check in during our family meetings to make sure you're staying on track."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at him because I knew he was right.  Thankfully Toby wasn't the type to expect me to actually exercise and meditate everyday, but he'd definitely stay true to his word.  "Work will keep me busy."

"That's good to nourish your mind, but don't forget your body and soul."

"Yeah, yeah, exercise and meditation, I know."  We'd thankfully arrived at the track now, everyone in a circle on the field as Izaak lead them in stretches.  He seemed so different now than when I'd first met him: a sexist, military-trained guy with a stick up his ass and bossing everyone around.  Now Izaak was a buff bronze-skinned deity, strict but fair, a good person just for the sake of being good.

To get out of more lectures, I jogged towards the group, waving at everyone and giving Clo a fist bump.  "Missed you yesterday," I said, standing at her side so we could look like un-athletic losers together.  

eeek ok izaak finally lost his shit

Tension hung in the air making it hard to breathe.  Izaak stood almost a foot taller than Violet, and now they were toe-to-toe, his scowl a stark contrast to her careless grin.

"Yo, fine whatever.  If Molly don't want me drivin' her car, then we can just Uber, right Clo?"

"No, it's fine, just take it and be careful.  Don't do any drugs."

Now three sets of eyes stared straight at me:  one curious, one amused, and one baffled.  "Are you joking?" Izaak barked, then turned back to Violet.  "I guess you're going with me."

She gave the most exaggerated eyeroll.  

Anxiety spread through my body making it hard to stand still.  I really wanted to just take Izaak's hand and lead him away, but his body was so rigid.  My big teddy-bear friend didn't look so soft and cuddly right now... his shoulders were tensed up, ready to fight, eyes narrowed at Violet.  Even if I tried to tug on his arm, he wouldn't budge.  

Violet didn't let his piercing gaze or gigantic size intimidate her.  "You can't make me."  

Ugh... the way she was acting prompted a moral dilemma about how to proceed.  On the one hand, Violet deserved whatever she had coming to her.  But knowing Izaak's state of mind worried me that he'd do something we'd all regret.  

blah, got distracted </3

We left Violet and Chloe by the car while Izaak and I chatted with the cops.  I was so glad to have him with me because authority figures make me nervous, especially since they'd done more harm than good to me over the years.  My voice was shaky as I answered their questions, somewhat hiding behind Izaak in hopes that he'd protect me if they became aggressive.  

When all was said and done, we walked back to my beat up green Toyota.  I could feel Izaak's frustration,  partly because it was past his bedtime, but also because Violet had once again ruined our night.  And probably there were leftover Chloe emotions.  I just wanted to smooth everything over and go to bed.  What an exhausting day.

"Bro, sorry bout that dent... I'll pay for it."  Violet tried to put a hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged away from her.

"It's fine, don't worry about it."

Izaak's sigh could be heard loud and clear.

"Where'd you go anyway?"

"Nowhere yet.  Fuckin' cops pulled us over before we got the chance to follow through with our plans."

As my mouth opened to ask for more details, I realized why the area seemed so familiar.... "Wait... were you going to Hempstead??"

"You were taking her to a rave?!"  Izaak was about to erupt and I just needed to get out of there before seeing that side of him.

"I wanted to go," Chloe responded with a glare.

My eyes watered and I quickly cleared my throat before the tears fell.  "You promised you wouldn't go back there after last time..."

izaak not quite losing his shit yet lol

It was the same night Chloe left.  When she appeared at the door with runny mascara and an adorable puppy face, I knew that Izaak was the one who needed me most.  I trusted Violet to take care of our friend — that was my first mistake.  Hindsight, Vic would've been the better choice.

His apartment was a short train ride away, so I didn't bother texting him until I was at his stop — the only way he'd accept the help without a fight.  

**blah blah... sentimental stuff :P will write this later**

The time passed so quickly that it didn't feel weird when Violet called me, and I answered without thinking.

"Bro, you're not gonna believe what happened..." her words were slurred and a pang in my stomach knew it was the same bullshit again.  

"I'm guessing cops are involved..." 

Izaak's eyebrows raised in response, now curious about my conversation.  In the years we'd known each other, he was well aware of Violet's crazy endeavors and my tendency to save her.  It'd earned me plenty of spankings in the past, not for saving her necessarily — Izaak understood my loyalty to Violet better than everyone else — but he wasn't as permissive when it came to putting myself in danger.  At least tonight we could enable her behavior together.

"Supposedly someone said I hit their piece of shit car and then ran."

My eyes rolled and I took the phone away from my ear, putting it on speaker so Izaak could listen.

chloe breaks into izaak's safe

It'd been a while since I listened to the clicks of a combination lock, but it's a skill like riding a bicycle, something I'd never forget.  Within a few minutes, I'd successfully cracked the code (well, at least partly thanks to having watched Izaak open his safe everyday for the last two months).  The contents had always been a mystery, so I braced myself for the worst case scenario — maybe there was nothing valuable in there and I'd have to find another way to start over.

I stood on my tiptoes and reached my hand inside the dark vault.  There was a stack of $100 bills and a little velvet blue bag with an old fancy-looking necklace in it.  Underneath was a stack of files that I should've ignored, but curiosity was too strong.  I pocketed half of the cash and dug out the folders.  Flipping open the first one, my heart stopped:  it was a grainy, zoomed in photo from video surveillance footage at a hotel in Detroit.  I first recognized the Cookie Monster T-shirt, then the scared expression on my face.  It was the day I'd met with Lt. Payne.

Now my heart pounded so loudly it shook my whole body.  I flipped to the next pages and saw more half-photos of me, random evidence, documents about Sage, and a contract between Izaak and the agent on Sage's case.  

What the hell...?

Trembling, I eased onto the couch to read the contract, dated August 2010.  Izaak agreed to watch over me and keep me out of trouble so that this agent — Tim Burke? — would get him a job with the FBI in New York.  

vacation

"Shots for everyone!" Violet shouted over the loud music, sitting down a tray full of 5 tiny glasses filled to the brim with tequila.  

Molly raised her eyebrows, shaking her head.  "No fucking way you'd be doing that if Gabe was here."

"Well he's not so drink up, bitch."  The clear substance spilled out as Violet raised the shot into the air.  "Here's to my two weeks sobriety, and to my hermano finishing his special in Arizona, and to Clo and Toby who keep making mushy looks at each other."  She wiggled her eyebrows at us then said, "cheers!"

I blushed deep red and peered over at a grinning Toby, who looked exceptionally handsome tonight.  I'm not sure why, he hadn't done anything special.  He wore the same backwards cap as the day we met, a tight black T-shirt and jeans, equipped with black vans that'd seen better days.  He was second to take a shot, playfully punching Violet and saying something I couldn't hear.  Toby seemed much more... fun?... than I'd ever seen him.  

Victor and I took our shots next, Molly declining the offer, so Violet drank hers instead.  There was still tension between them, since Molly accidentally ratted us out last night.  I knew she hadn't meant it, but Violet enjoyed being petty.  I had the feeling shit would hit the fan before the trip ended...

blah

"You kids have fun and behave," Gabe said with a smirk as we exited the Suburban.

"Bro, you gave me a free pass, that means I can act a fool."  Violet stuck her tongue out at him as she tapped out a cigarette.  

As I scooted out, Izaak stopped me.  "Drink in moderation."

Part of me wanted to shout that our month-long deal was over now, so he had no right to demand anything of me.  But the rest of me just nodded and hopped out.  

idk what this is

"Esperanza," Izaak said simply, widening the door so I could step inside his immaculate apartment.

"I need a fight."

"Haven't you had enough lately?"

It was weird being in his living room without Clo's "room" sectioned off.  Another reminder of the mess I was in.  Again.  "Yeah, I have.  Just break down the rest of me."  

Izaak closed and locked the door, walking towards me, brows furrowed in confusion.  Without allowing him the opportunity to speak, I reached up and shoved him, expending entirely too much energy for the tiny amount he moved. Now his eyebrow cocked and he put his hands on his hips, towering over me.  

"Bro, come on."  I pushed him again, this time pleased that his fingers wrapped around my forearms.  

"What are you doing?"

I twisted my arms, trying to get out of his grip.  "Whatever the fuck I want."

violet relapse, take 2

"Molly... I need your help..."

"Are you in jail?!"

"It's a long story... but you would have done the same..."

Her sigh seemed annoyed, and I heard Adam in the background, inquiring what had happened.  It felt like Molly could sense the drugs in my demeanor, because when she finally spoke, her tone was too serious.  "You should call Gabe.  He's in a better position to help right now."

"Can you call him for me?  Please?  I just..."

"Vy... you need to do it."  I didn't like it when she was firm with me.  "You know I normally would, but nows not a great time."

"Fine, whatever.  Maybe see you tonight, maybe not," I snapped, about to hang up.

Then I heard her pathetic sniffle.  "Please don't do this right now."

"Sorry.  It's not you.  I'll call him."

The deputy was nice enough to allow me a second phone call (we bonded over being Mexican, so that earned me a few points), and my shaky fingers dialed Gabe's cell.  My heart pounded so loudly I almost didn't hear him answer.