[[[if you'd rather just read the whole chapter put together, but unedited so not that great yet, here's the link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/17R7r4JIbuBzxOWPlPYYPCibHzWiAoNY6aHOKU9lSJD0/edit?usp=sharing. i'll def have to make this scene hotter when it's the right time of month 😂 ]]]]
My lower lip quivered as I gave a weak nod, knowing that Izaak was a man true to his word so there was no use arguing. Anyway, I felt a little more submissive than normal, and guilty from sorta-lying about Winters. So he didn't even have to ask, I just automatically slid off the couch, shuffling to **wherever the hairbrush is kept 🤔 ** with my head down.
When I came back, Izaak looked pleased.
Just tell him, said Sage's voice in my head.
He will hate you if you do, said the other voice, which sounded more like my mom. Ouch. Why did Toby have to open that door earlier?
"You have done very well with not smoking, I'm proud of you for the progress you've made. Don't slip back into bad habits. Talk to Molly if you need help about what to do. She has helped me with a lot, and I know she will help you, too, if you ask."
"What if I talk to her instead of Gabe about... you know..."
Izaak's brows furrowed and I gave my genuine pathetic look — I didn't even have to fake it anymore. "I'd rather you talk to someone at your work, but I trust Molly."
I breathed a sigh of relief. At least I could probably make Molly swear to secrecy.
"I'll tell her tomorrow that you'll set up a time to talk in private."
That made me blush. I didn't need him making therapy appointments for me! But instead of staying that, I told him about the conversation I'd had with Violet earlier in the day about staying over the weekend. "I'll just talk to her then."
Izaak insisted, though, knowing that I'd probably chicken out and not actually mention it. Sigh. That's what I signed up for though.
I chewed on my lower lip as Izaak tugged down my pajama pants then helped me over his lap. His thighs weren't as tense as usual and he didn't seem as confident. It was more of a "resolved" feeling... like he had to do this. Classic "this hurts me more than it hurts you." He didn't want to, but was a rule follower, no exceptions.
Reasons I can't tell him about Winters.
"How many swats have you earned?" he asked as my panties were slipped down to my knees.
"160," I muttered.
He still felt sorry for me because he didn't force me to speak more clearly. "Give me your hand."
Squirming over his lap, I finally stuck my right hand back, actually feeling kind of comforted when I felt his fingers wrap around mine.
The first smack caught me by surprise because he basically skipped the lecture, but it didn't really hurt much at all, just made a loud POP! that echoed through the room and made me flinch. The second came down almost immediately after, equally mild, and continued at the same intensity for a while. It actually felt kind of... good.
I'd long lost count when he brought the brush down a little harder, though I was warmed up enough that I didn't notice much difference in the sting. To sorta play along I let out a whimper, but it still didn't really hurt, just felt kinda awkward.
I'm pretty sure he didn't give me the full 160, but I wasn't counting so who knows. He almost immediately replaced my panties and pjs, then lifted me to sit on his lap. I could feel the sting in my bottom as he wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me against his chest. It was the safest I'd felt all week.
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