ch21 spanking scene

My body quivered as I gave a weak nod, knowing that Izaak was a man true to his word.  I stayed latched onto him for a few more seconds until the pit in my stomach motivated me to slide off his lap.  Head down, I shuffled to fetch the plastic paddle hairbrush from the bathroom drawer.

When I came back, Izaak lips curved slightly up in satisfaction.  

Just tell him, rang Sage’s voice in my mind as I handed him the brush.

He will hate you if you do, said another voice, whose tone sounded more like my mom.  

Ouch.  Why did Toby have to force that box open earlier?

“You have done very well with not smoking, I’m proud of you for the progress you’ve made.  Get back on track with it.  Talk to Molly if you need.  She has helped me with a lot and will help you, too, if you ask.”

“What if I tell her instead of Gabe about... you know?...”

Izaak’s brows furrowed, and I gave a genuinely pathetic look.  “I’d rather you communicate with someone from your office, but I trust Molly.”

I breathed a sigh of relief.  At least I could make my friend swear to secrecy.  One less problem to worry about.

“I will give her the heads up tomorrow that you’ll set up a time to chat privately.”

Part of me wanted to argue that I didn’t need him making therapy appointments for me, but I caught a glimpse of the hairbrush and decided instead to tell him about the conversation with Violet about staying over the weekend.  “I’ll just talk to Molly then.”

Izaak insisted, though, knowing my tendency to chicken out.  And his tone was so serious and firm that I kept in my sigh and eyeroll.

When neither of us had more to say, Izaak reached for my pajama shorts.  I chewed on my lower lip as he tugged them down, then helped me over his lap.  His thighs weren’t as rigid as usual, and he didn’t seem as confident,  more resolved-feeling... like he was obligated to carry out the punishment.  Classic “this hurts me more than it hurts you.”  He was a rule follower, no exceptions.  

Reasons I can’t tell him about Winters.

“How many swats have you earned?” he asked as he pulled my panties down to my knees.

I squirmed, peeking up at him and cowering in shame. “130,” I said, more like a mutter.  

He still felt sorry for me, though, because he didn’t force me to speak more clearly.  “Give me your hand.”

With a whine, I buried my face in the couch cushion and stuck my right arm back, comforted when Izaak's fingers wrapped around mine.

He skipped the lecture, landing the first barrage of swats more mild than normal, but still the same steady pace.  The plastic clapped against my skin with a loud POP! that echoed through the room and made me flinch every time.  

"Why are you getting this spanking, kiddo?" Izaak asked, landing the next set of swats a little harder.

With a whine, I said, "for smoking!" 

"It's more about not trusting me enough to talk about what's going on with you.  If you'd spoken up, we would have found another way to manage your stress."  The spanking continued, now up to his usual intensity and causing me to cry out every so often.

"I'm s-sorryyyy!" I cried.  "I'll come to you next time!"

"Even if it's something you don't want to discuss with me, at least lean on Molly or Toby, or hell, even Violet and Gabe.  We're here for you."

His words punched me in the gut, taking all of the air out of me until a sob came out.  My fingers gripped Izaak's strong hand even tighter as I bawled, letting out all my pent up emotions from the week.  I allowed myself to feel safe under his authority.  

My thoughts stopped and I focused solely on the meditative rhythm of Izaak's swats, feeling the heat radiating from my pink bottom.  Tears flowed freely, but didn't bother me, almost as if I were outside of myself, watching the hairbrush bounce against my rosy cheeks from above.

"Smoking is prohibited."  He accentuated each word with a hearty swat.  "Do you understand?"

I lay limply over his lap, sniffling.  "Y-yes, s-sir."

"Last ten."  They came down milder than expected, but I guess he realized he'd already driven his point home.  Once he finished, he replaced my panties and pjs, then lifted me to sit on his lap.  I winced at the warmth in my bottom as he wrapped his arms around me, not giving me enough time to wipe my eyes before squeezing me against his chest.  

My sniffling and the ticking clock were the only noises, my sobs having died down.  I stayed curled up on his lap, soothed by the predictability of his breathing.  "Do you want to watch something?"

I shook my head, burrowing into his chest.  It was the safest I’d felt all week, I had to hold onto the moment.  The floaty feeling lasted until I fell asleep in his embrace.