toby + chloe

It's a surprise.  Dress comfortably, something you don't mind getting dirty 😏

I had no idea what that meant, trying on a hundred different outfits before finally setlling on baggy jeans and a blue crop top.  This made me more nervous than making the move on Izaak a few nights ago.  A date with Toby... the thing I'd been dreaming about for what felt like ages.  I'd never thought that fantasy could be a reality, but here we are...

I went light on the makeup, trying to give off a more natural look but wanting my eyes to pop a little.  Toby seemed like he'd be into the emo-type, which is the style that seemed to be coming out as I got dressed.  He brought out a side of me that I'd buried deep for so long, and it was kind of refreshing to remember a younger version of myself.

I'm downstairs.

I nervously slipped on my converse sneakers and checked myself out in the mirror one final time before jogging downstairs.  I could see Toby through the glass before I opened the door.  He wore jeans and a T-shirt, leaning against the wall staring into the distance.  He looked perfect.

I swung the door open and he immediately snapped out of his thoughts, surprised at my attire, but trying not to let it show as we greeted each other with a hug.

"I hate that you wouldn't tell me the plan," I said teasingly.  "I had no idea what to wear."

"You look great," he assured me.  

"Are you gonna tell me now?"

"Nope," he said with a smile, leading me away.  "You'll just have to trust me."

after molly forges prescription

As we rode to Gabe's place, he talked softly on the phone, but I was too out of it to even understand his words.  The self-hatred spread throughout my mind and body, constantly yelling at me that I'm not good enough and replaying Toby's words.  What the fuck was I thinking?  How could I put both of our careers on the line like that?  

And those thoughts just morphed into everything else I'd fucked up.  My relationship with Adam.  The clients I couldn't save.  Being snappy with Violet.  I hadn't done even one thing right in so long.  

Why was Gabe even taking me home with him?  And why did he help me with that client's mom?  I didn't deserve it.

The only thing I deserved was punishment.  I needed to pay for everything I'd fucked up.  If I didn't get the spanking from Gabe, I worried that I'd find a different way to punish myself.

I was still in a daze as we arrived in front of his building.  Gabe still sounded distant as he thanked our driver and exchanged pleasantries with the doorman.  

"Are you okay?" he asked when the elevator doors closed, rushing us up to the top floor.

I shrugged.  "I just need you to beat my ass."

Gabe frowned, which of course I interpreted as him hating me.  "You know I will give you a good spanking, but first we need to talk about all of this."

"I don't wanna talk about anything."

"I know.  But you're going to."

I wanted to fold my arms in a huff, but I just felt so heavy that I settled with a shrug.

chloe's thoughts/feelings since seattle and during meeting

since leaving seattle, my thoughts have been consumed with "I need to get into this memory card."  I know there's something important on there that can help me, but being a hacker herself, sage was brilliant with securing our stuff.  If I could just get into the card, there would be images in there that I could alter to throw violet off my tracks.  The whole night after we got back, all I did was try to get into the card.  I must've tried 30000 different passcodes, but couldn't get in.  I barely slept, only to be interrupted in my dreams by frantic efforts to escape unescapable scenarios.

Wednesday I went to work with still only the memory card in mind.  I was also so tired that I couldn't think straight and kept fucking up.  I'm really so bad at this job.    I was busy the whole morning, catching up on everything I'd missed from going on the trip.  There was finally a lull after lunch, which made the thoughts come to the surface again.  I decided to look up Winters file and see if I could learn anything else to help me either figure out the password, or steer violet in the wrong direction.  

As I stalked the company website, there was one photo that stood out.  I couldn't quite place where I knew this girl from, but she worked for Winters and looked enough like me that it would be easy to photoshop her head onto an incriminating photo.  Maybe I could figure out how to get back into winters corp's computer system and somehow trace evidence to her.  

just trying to write something

"Chloe Peterson, front and center."

Izaak's firm tone made me gulp, especially after what I had just witnessed with Violet.  I pushed myself up from the sofa, shuffling towards the stool where Gabe and Izaak stood towering over me.  I'd been quiet and compliant during the whole meeting, hoping that my invisibility would get me off the hook.  It hadn't.  

"Skirt up, panties down, and get into position," Gabe said.  His tone was softer with me than it had been with Violet, and I sense that while part of him wanted to (and enjoyed) punishing me, another part of him was sorry that he had to do it.  Why had I agreed to this deal in the first place?  Or why didn't I tell Violet to not fuck around with Gabe?

I guess part of me was also curious about what it would be like.

"Let's go!" he said, snapping his fingers as my hesitation.  Shivering, I pushed my panties down and bent over the stool, gripping onto the wooden legs.

"You did not follow instructions," Izaak commented, which caused me to blush and push up my skirt, exposing my bare bottom for everyone to see.  

I squeezed my eyes shut and swallowed the lump in my throat, trying to hide behind my hair.  

Gabe rested the cane on my bottom, then spoke.  "I know it was Violet's idea to go over budget, but your responsibility was to remind her that you'd both get caned for it.  Did you do that?"

chatgpt pic for a family meeting

i just prompted it to make an image for the chapter i'm working on, which is chloe's perspective of the last half of the family meeting, and this is what it generated for me.  why do all of the guys look the same 😂

chatgpt's photos of my characters

ch 27 addition (at family meeting)

Before I could retort, Toby chimed in.  “Does anyone else have something to discuss?”

Izaak cleared his throat.

Instantly curious, I turned to my friend.  "Ooooo, Clo, what’d you do?"

"This is about you," Izaak responded plainly, so serious it made my tummy twist into knots.

I chuckled, trying to ignore how excited he made me.  "What?  Me?  You don’t think you’ll get to torture me enough this weekend?"

“I believe it’s better for me to address this in front of the group.”

On the edge of my seat, I urged him to continue.

"When I took you and Chloe to the airport and found the vape pen, you assured me it was yours."

My heart thumped against my chest.  "Yeah, and?  It was.  You know I'm a big pothead and all."  Gabe shook his head at me, already figuring out where this was headed, but I continued to play dumb.  "And you already spanked me for it.  Why bring it up now?  Didn't get enough?  Damn you're more of a sadist than Gabe."

Izaak didn’t play into my aggression, staying as calm as a pilot reassuring passengers that it’s only turbulence.  "It has come to my attention that the weed was Molly's."

It was hard to read him – was he actually upset?  “Okay, fine, but shouldn't you be talkin’ to her about this?”

“I already did.”  Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Molly uncomfortably squirming in her seat.  “My ‘beef’ now is with you.”

“Why, though?  Bro, it really ain’t that big of a deal.”

gabe/chloe after violet's relapse

"My office.  Now." Gabe barked through the speaker of my desk phone, startling me because I didn't even know he could do that.  

I smoothed down my skirt as I entered his office, seeing a makeup-less Violet seated in front of his desk, dark circles under her bloodshot eyes.  As I glanced up at Gabe, an electric bolt shot through my gut, telling me my biggest fear had come true.

"Sit," he ordered, pointing to the chair next to Violet.  "You're dismissed," he told her, much to Violet's disapproval.

"Bro, we should all talk this out.  We could figure out a win-win solution."

Gabe's response to her argument was a hard stare, an expression that told me Violet was currently sitting on a warm bottom and if she didn't want more, she'd better obey.  That thought made me squirm in my seat as I wondered how this scene would unfold.

Of course Violet broke first.  "Fine," she said with an eyeroll, then turned towards me.  "I'm sorry, but I had to tell him, especially after everything with Andy."  

My heart sped up as she stood and left, door slamming so loudly that I jumped in my seat. There was a moment of uneasy silence, but then Gabe spoke.  "You've lied to me, Chloe.  For months."

I tried to steady my voice, my eyes welling with regret. "I-I'm sorry.  I should've told you."

"Damn right you should've," he snapped back, his words a whip crack of frustration. "You put this firm, my reputation, and my client's future at risk because you couldn't trust me enough to come clean."

toby & molly convo continued

"I heard things have been rough with Adam lately," Toby said, reaching out for the weed to roll a joint for me.  He was in a "service sub" type mood, which was usually my jam more than his, but I guess he'd been broken down quite a bit over the last few weeks.

"I know you think I should break up with him."

"It doesn't really matter what I think.  Do you see me in any type of relationship?"

I smiled then brought my knees to my chest, hugging them for a moment as I watched his fingers navigate the rolling papers with ease.  "When was the last time you were in a relationship anyway?"

He shook his head.  "A real official relationship?  Not since college."

"But you dated Vic for a minute."

"Yeah, just dated though.  It's not like either of us brought the other home."

"Do you want a relationship?"

Toby licked the paper, sticking it together then handing me the joint.  I knew he didn't want to answer this question, but since he felt guilty he would anyway.  "It's hard to admit and also hard to deny."

"What a non-answer," I teased.

"When I get in relationships, things like my manic episode happen.  Maybe I'm not ready yet."

"Will you ever be ready?"

Toby shrugged, not really looking me in the eyes.  It was weird seeing him like this, kinda defeated.  "I don't know."

Toby’s apology to Molly

“It was wrong of me to lash out at you like that, and I’d like to explain what happened with me.”

His remorse made me uncomfortable. “It’s okay, you don’t have to, I understand and forgive you…”

Toby gave me a pleading look. “I want to, as long as it doesn’t infringe on your boundaries.”

As if I had boundaries? So I nodded to let him continue, squirming in my seat. Why did this make me feel so icky? It kind of reminded me of my dad maybe. But my mind wasn’t ready to go there yet, which piqued my curiosity. I always attributed most of my problems to my mom.

The thoughts made me take a hit off of my vape pen, and out of politeness I offered Toby some. “Nah,” he responded, not giving me his admonishing big brother look like normal. “I think weed is part of what set off my manic episode in the first place.” I cocked an eyebrow since he rarely participated in my favorite recreational activity. “When we were on vacation. I mean, it wasn’t the whole trigger. I hadn’t realized how bad Chloe was for me. I’m trying to not beat myself up even though I think I should’ve known better. But she brought out a side of me that feels good. My nurturing self. When someone wants help, i feel confident that I know what to do. It feels like I have control, but then at some point that power starts slipping away. It turns into an addiction, like if I don’t ‘help’ it’s dangerous. Chloe made me feel powerful and in control, but I wasn’t. And when I finally noticed I was feeling used, it was too late. That’s when you had your work thing and I took out my anger on you. And I am…. Was… upset with you too, but more upset with Chloe and myself.”