feeling rusty 😅

"Come on... we can break the contract one night."

"We already did.  On vacation."

I rolled my eyes.  "This is fucking stupid.  Just give me my pen baaaaaack."  I stomped my foot, folding my arms in a huff, knowing this wouldn't work on Gabe but unable to resist.

"The last thing I would do is reward your behavior from today with a smoke.  Come on, it's time to get ready for bed."

"It's not a reward, it's mine!  I don't wanna go to bed."  

Gabe sighed, calmly taking my hand and pulling me towards him.  "Look at me."  The sternness in his confident voice made me immediately obey.  His hazel eyes were serious.  "Do you trust me to be in control?"

I didn't even think about it.  "Yes."

"Then that's enough with your tantrums.  Instead of thinking about the weed I'm not allowing you to smoke, focus on my instructions."  He reached up to tuck my hair behind my ear, then lift my chin so I wouldn't look away.  "Get your toothbrush and pajamas out of your backpack, get washed up and changed for bed.  When you finish, get the bathbrush and cream, and bring them to me.  Am I clear?"

I gulped and nodded, teary-eyed.  Gabe bent down and gave a quick kiss to my forehead, finally letting go of my chin.  

As warm and cozy as he made me feel, once I scampered away to follow his directions, the bad thoughts came back.  Toby hating me.  His words playing through my mind on repeat.  All the times I'd fucked up friendships in the past.  My mind telling me what a horrible person I am.

toby molly drama 🎭😅

I tried to look him in the eyes as I spoke.  "I'm sorry... it was so stupid... I won't do anything like this again... please don't hate me..."  I wiped my watery eyes then put my hands together as if praying.  

Everyone was silent for a minute, the only sounds that could be heard were my sniffles.  I didn't know what to say or do, or where we would go from here.  Normally Toby and I led everything while the others were the stars of the show.  But tonight it was all backward...

"Please say something..."  

"What do you want me to say?  I'm still processing that someone of your intellect could do something so… foolish."

"I... just wanted to help..."

"Help?  You think it's helpful for someone with zero medical training to decide what pills a 17 year old girl should take?  And what if she has a bad reaction?  My career is down the drain, and I know you, the guilt would eat you alive."

"That wouldn't happen.  It wasn't anything heavy like xanax..."

His cutting glare made my tummy twist into knots again.  "I don't give a shit what pill you forged my signature on.  You aren't trained to give out medication, period."

I hung my head.  "I thought I was just helping..."

"Your typical pattern of enabling.  You let people overstep your boundaries and think they won't continue doing it, but it happens again and again and you wonder why.  This is why.  You break laws to keep them happy.  Where are they when you take the fall?"

"Bro, what the fuck, back off," Violet said.

vacation late night convo

"I'm going to say it like Violeta would:  Why haven't you dumped that motherfucker yet?  He's stringing you along.  It's not going to change."

"Hey, be nice!" Vic said in a scoldy tone to Toby, smacking him on the shoulder. 

Turning to Vic, he said, "She needs to hear it," then turned back to me.  "You shouldn't put up with his shit anymore.  How long has it been?  What would you tell Chloe if she were in this situation?"

I curled my knees up to my chest, glancing out at the dark ocean that spit waves towards us.  "I don't wanna talk about Adam right now..."  

Toby began to speak, but Vic stopped him from crossing a boundary.  Not that I cared... people rarely respect my boundaries anyway.

"You don't have to talk about him," Vic said, placing a comforting hand on my knee.  "Toby's just jealous cuz he doesn't have some dude of his own to shit talk."  He winked and grinned at Toby, who I predicted would be unimpressed, but instead wore a drunkenly giddy expression.

"I could get anyone I wanted, but I don't need a relationship.  She needs to learn how to be alone."

Vic groaned in frustration.  "Will you stop?!  What's up with you today?  You're being a jackass.  She's entitled to have and experience her feelings.  Why the fuck am I explaining this to a shrink?"  He said it with a hint of Violet's sass, keeping a positive energy as he effortlessly changed the subject.  "So Chloe, has the fam been treating you well so far?  Are we much different from your people back home?"

random snippets

I'd never been broken down in the way that Toby destroyed me.  My body racked with sobs over his lap, feeling like a rag doll.  Strands of messy brown hair were plastered to my cheeks, unmoving when he helped me to my feet.  The guilt was still too strong to allow me to be anything other than submissive.  

"It's all over now, Chloe."  His tone was more gentle now, slightly kind.  I listened for hints of disappointment, but there was none.  "You're forgiven."  It felt like there was more Toby wanted to say, but he stopped himself, frowning slightly as he stood to retrieve the panties I'd left in the middle of the floor.  He returned and sat back in front of me, bending down.  

I didn't realize at first that he was trying to replace my panties.  Besides Izaak, all the other men I'd ever done something like this with, they'd want to take advantage of me afterwards.  Toby wasn't that type... but it's just what I'm used to.  I stepped into the leg holes (? wtf hahaha idk what that's called) and focused on Toby's soft fingers grazing my bare skin.  

When I was less naked, Toby pulled me over to the sofa, taking a seat and bringing me down with him.  His arms wrapped around my trembling body so I could lay my head on his chest.  "Cry as long as you need.  It's just me.  I'm here with you," he promised.  

hot tub convo during vacation

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Ugh, I knew you were gonna say that.  This bitch never does a dare."

Violet was right —  I didn't, and I especially wouldn't with her!  "So just ask a question then!" I said with an eyeroll.  We'd been snippy with each other all weekend so far... but it wasn't really her fault.  I just felt super anxious about my client, even though Vic made me promise not to keep my phone on do not disturb so I wouldn't think about work.  Obviously that didn't work.

"Whose spankings hurt most — the doc, sergeant douche, or mr. bossy pants over there."

At my side, Gabe smirked in a "I'm gonna fuck her up later" way.

"Oooh, hitting Molly where it hurts."  Everyone looked over at Toby who sat on the deck in his swimsuit, smoking a cigarette.  "Causing drama by making her choose.  That's cold."   

"Fuck off, she's the one who's too chicken shit to do a dare."

I blushed at them talking about me and scooted a little closer to Gabe.  "No drama.  It's fine.  They all have different styles and hurt in different ways, so I can't compare."

"Booo what a cop out answer!!" Violet said, splashing water at me.

"No it's not!  It's the truth."  And splashed water back.

"Bullshit, one of them has to hurt you more.  Do you need them to do a demonstration now to see who it is??"

vacation

When I awoke, my head pounded and the sour aftertaste of last night's alcohol lingered in the back of my throat.  My memory was hazy, but seeing as I was in Toby's bed and half-naked, I had an idea of what had happened...

"Yo!  Get your ass up if you want breakfast."  Violet's tone was positive... amused and confident.  She'd just barged into the room without knocking... had Toby told her I was in his room?  Or did she just see me go in there last night?  "Unless the doc wore you out too much," she said with a laugh.

"I'm coming!" I said, feeling my cheeks flush.  She loved getting a reaction out of me...

"That's what you said last night, right?"

My ears burned as I shouted, "Go away!" and playfully threw a pillow at her, but Violet slammed the door shut before it hit her.

I re-dressed and tried to fix my hair so I wasn't doing a walk of shame or anything.  It made me a little nervous, wondering what everyone suspected.  Were they all seated around the dining table waiting?

Nope.  They weren't.  It was just Violet, Gabe, and Vic.  Vic stood in front of the stove waiting to flip the pancake while Violet and Gabe set the table.

"Where's everyone else?"

"Toby and Izaak are out for a jog, and Molly's sleeping," Vic said.  

"Yeah, they wouldn't let me wake her lazy ass up.  Such party poopers."

Gabe shot her a warning glare.

Vic gave the same eyeroll that Violet's always giving at work, but kept talking as if she hadn't interjected.  "There's a fresh pot of coffee if you're interested."

lol basically nothing

I could see the sky turning golden as I scrolled through [[something, idk yet]] on my laptop.  Creepy death metal blasted on my headphones, so when they were yanked off my ears, I jumped three feet into the air.  "Holy fuck.  Don't scare me like that!!"  

Izaak's nose scrunched.  "You need to turn that down before you lose your hearing."

"Okay, Dad," I said with an eyeroll.  "Are you really still running while on vacay?  That's lame, bro."

"Are you really working while on vacation?" 

I quickly slammed the laptop shut, hoping he hadn't read what was on the screen.  

lol idk for some reason i want izaak to tie someone up 😂🥰

"Were you really gonna use that?" I asked Izaak, reaching for the rope at his side.

"Yes, if I needed to."

I fingered the braids, breath shortening as I wondered what it would be like.  "Have you done that before?  Tied people up?"  His straight face reminded me that I didn't want to know about his military experience... "Like, in a scene...?"

"Of course.  My ex was into it."  He knew I wanted to ask more questions, because his look pleaded with me to not dig.  That relationship was off limits for discussion.

"What would you have done to Violet?"  

Now his lips curved up as an image entered his mind.   "A wrist to ankle tie.  She would eventually calm down if we left her in that position for a while."

I tried to imagine it, giving up after Izaak tried to explain and completely lost me.   "Have you guys ever played with rope?" I asked 'the lovebirds' as Violet called them.

Toby shook his head.  "Words are what I use as restraints."  

The thought made my tummy jump, so I glanced at Chloe to answer.  Her blue eyes stared at him in admiration, but she noticed me anyway.

"I've played around with it some, but only if they're safe.  I'll give up control, but not thaaaaat much."

chloe after confession to toby

Throat dry as I stood in the center of Toby's bedroom, I began to regret having asked him for this.  My curiosity about how he was as a spanker was slowly decreasing as he paced behind me.  His personality had almost completely changed... going from compassionate caregiver to... scary punisher.

"Chloe, if that's even your real name, I said to bare your bottom.  That means to take off your skirt and panties.  What are you waiting for?"  

Toby stopped pacing and stared me down as he waited for me to obey his instructions.  His stare was so penetrating that my heart pounded faster as if begging me to run.  Instead, I unzipped my skirt and pushed it down over my hips with my panties.  When they fell to the floor, I just kicked them away, glancing back up at my friend.  

His intensity told me that maintaining eye contact would get this over with sooner rather than later.  I wanted to win him over with my big blue eyes.

"Hands behind your back, and look down at the floor.  I want you to focus on listening to my words."

Gulping, I placed my trembling hands in position, tilting my head down.  

"This is a punishment for your criminal behavior.  You have no control in this scene.  I can see right through your manipulative behavior."

"Sorry..."

"Save your apologies for when you really mean them."

short insert

We settled into my bed, Gabe’s arm around me as my head laid on his chest.  I breathed in his fresh-smelling cologne, enjoying the familiarity and comfort.  Until he spoke.  “What happened last night?”

“I was getting Crackers.” 

It took a second for him to remember I was talking about a cat, not food.  “That couldn’t have waited until the weekend?  Last-minute cancellations are because of an emergency.”

I shrugged, unable to make eye contact.  “Did you figure out your one case with the sad guy and the obnoxious kid, or whatever?”

The way his breathing slowed, I could tell he was debating whether to accept my deflection or call me out.  “No, we have a settlement hearing on Tuesday, though.  Don’t think I didn’t just see what you did there, young lady.”

Curling up into a ball, I snuggled even closer, making sure he couldn’t see my face.  “What?  I get emotionally invested in your clients.  Hopefully you win, though.  The sad guy doesn’t need any more problems.”

Gabe sighed but entertained me with sorta psychoanalyzing his clients until I was yawning and half-asleep on his chest, kinda drooling on his tie.  Oops.