camping

“I got it from Greta’s bag.  She’ll never notice it's missing, she had like forty in there.”  

“Noelia!!  No!  We can’t.”  Caro spoke in a hushed tone even though everyone was far enough away they wouldn’t hear us anyway.

“Ceci, don’t go off too far,” Noelia said, to which Ceci waved her off.

“Did you get a lighter?” I asked.

Noelia grinned, digging into her other pocket.  “Of course I did.”

“Lexi, stop being a bad influence.  Noelia, we can’t.  Ramon would kill us!  And Mateo!  We’d be toast.”

“Dude, Caro, you actually need the weed, because what the fuck.  Chill out.” 

astrophotography

“I’m ready to take my camera to the wilderness.  Monte Seco looks pretty close on the map.  Maybe I’ll go today… clear night, new moon…”

“No.”  

I glanced over at Mateo, not having realized he was even listening to my conversation as he scrambled eggs over the stove.

Noelia rolled her eyes.  “He’s so over-protective sometimes.”

“I noticed,” I said, breaking off a piece of bread and popping it in my mouth.  “How far is it anyway?”

“By car?  Maybe an hour and a half, depending on road conditions.  Probably muddy, right Mat?”

He brought the skillet over, scraping eggs onto each of our plates.  “Not tonight, Lexi.  I’ll take you another weekend.  No buses stop near there, especially this time of year.”

I let out a whine.  “Ugh but I haven’t been able to go anywhere at allllllll.  I’m getting so bored.”

“Imagine living here 19 years,” Noelia said with an eyeroll.

Mateo eyed his little sister.  “If you’re so bored, you can organize the shop like I’ve asked you to a hundred times.”

“Booooooorrrrrrrrriiiiiiiinnnnnnnnggggggg!” 

The two of them playfully bickered for a while as I stuffed my face quickly, wondering whose car I could borrow to go to the national park.  I didn’t know many people, and the ones I did know were too associated with Mateo to ask for this particular favor.  

San Pancracio world

this wasn't meant to be a story... it was just going to be the timeline before the story. but... it's kind of a mixture of both 🤷‍♀️

-----

I found out about San Pancracio on an obscure spanking website, with clips from a movie and a short blurb about it being one of the few places that uses corporal punishment on adults. My imagination went wild – what it would be like to live in a place like this. I instantly scoured the internet for more information, digging around until I found the entire documentary on a pirate website. Yes, I infected my school laptop with viruses just for the sake of spanking. What would they do, spank me? As if they’d even notice.

The documentary was from the early-90s, hazy quality and badly translated Spanish. An hour and a half of some white girl claiming abuse and sexism. Clearly editing her footage to support the narrative that this traditional culture should be abolished.

I wanted to know more, but there was just nothing online about it. From the documentary, I gathered that adults engage in this process and the council of elders decides whether someone should get punished. Anyone who breaks a law could get strapped in a semi-public way. For minor offenses, it’s common for the head of household to administer the spanking.

Seriously, I couldn’t have dreamt up a fictional town this good!

i don't even know if this makes sense but it's something

"Tell me how you really feel," Gabe teased, finding amusement out of my annoyance.

"It's just not fair, how does everyone else get to go through life being detached and just fine with it.  Not needing anybody.  Not feeling lonely.  Not... dealing with all this bullshit."  I gave what I hoped would pass as a huff, though it was actually just me sucking in my tears.  Last thing I needed right now was pity.

Even though Gabe doesn't do pity.

But when I glanced up, I could tell that he saw through my fake-huffing. It wasn't pity but still an uncommon expression in his eyes... compassion?

things i write in public on an airplane 😈

(additions to next chapter i might post)

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Violet’s thoughts waking up:

Ugh this is such fucking bullshit having to wake up at the ass crack of dawn just to go do some stupid fucking exercises because my dumbass decided to make this deal with Izaak. I know, that’s not the real problem – it’s Clo.  How am I supposed to spend the weekend with her lying to my face like this?  I mean, there’s a slim possibility that she isn’t Pattie… and my mission is to solely get more evidence before ratting her out to Gabe or anyone else.

Maybe there’s something here that would help me figure it out?  Note to self: check her room for anything suspicious.  Also, get intel from Izaak.

Does he know?

snippets

"Riley, spit it out, what did you see?"

Her eyes were wide, glossy, horrors written all over them.  I didn't want to actually know.  She didn't want to tell me.  But we both knew what she'd seen.  "Andy... he's... they're... they bring girls.  And.  Sell them."

Clo gasped.  

I growled.  "That motherfucker.  If I had a fuckin' gun..."  Instead of completing that sentence, I grumbled to myself, pacing Molly's room.  

"We have to get the memory card.  I'll turn it into the cops... to this... Agent Booth or whatever."

x-x-x-x

The banging sounded official, especially when followed by a man's shouting, "FBI."

I shivered as Violet hopped up from the couch, almost too enthusiastic about letting them in.  I know she was just anxious and needed to move.  My anxiety just wanted me to crawl inside myself, disappear entirely, never have to deal with any of this.

Even more so when the man walked in, dress shirt with tie, FBI badge clipped to his belt, and I looked up to see... "Lieutenant Payne?"

what everyone is doing right now

(lol things I write to try to get back into a regular routine...) 

Molly lays curled up on her bed with Crackers, scrolling on her phone.

Chloe is listening to a podcast while drawing something on her ipad.  

Violet's in bed already, probably masturbating before passing out to sleep.

Gabe is on the couch, finishing up some work while the tv hums out sports highlights in the background.  

Toby is reading a fiction novel... a paperback, because the goal is to reduce screen time before sleeping.

Izaak, of course, is snoring, having been asleep already for at least an hour.

lol not much but something

"Why won't you tell him?"

"I just told youuuuuuu... he'd be in trouble at work..."

"He will be in trouble anyway."

"No he won't..."

There was an awkward silence as I waited for Toby to argue back at me.  

riley's story

I'd always liked Violeta.  She was the only one who paid attention to me when I was a kid, always the loner, always doing some weird shit off in the corner by myself.  She didn't mock me, didn't try to make me come out of my shell.  Yeah some light teasing maybe, but mostly she just let me be.  

So when she texted me for help, I couldn't say no.  But I should have known to advise against Dominic's.  That place has eyes everywhere.

My first clue was when Andy barged into my lair without so much as a knock.  He completely ignored my glare, as he always did.  "Leo told me you got dirt."

Even if I wanted to deny it, I couldn't — the video still was literally up on my screen in that moment.  "I just hacked into it."

Andy traipsed across the room as if he owned the place, leaning over my shoulder way too close to me.  

therapy session with Riley

I logged into zoom, almost exactly on time, no sign of Riley yet.  The paperwork that had been filled out was minimal — "depressed," "light substance use that worried my friends," "idk if i need therapy but was urged to try it out anyway."  She was recommended to me by a colleague who said we'd be a good fit, which I recently learned means that she probably has a schizoid-ish personality style.  My favorite.

The notification popped up, telling me that "riley (she/they)" signed into the waiting room.  Exactly 1 minute late.  I clicked to let her in, and her image immediately popped up (fast computer/internet!).  She has black and pink hair pulled back in a ponytail, cat ear headphones, and was sitting in what looked like the comfiest gamer-chair ever.  I was immediately jealous. 

"Hey Riley, I'm Breanna, it's nice to meet you."