trying to continue ch29ish

The warm jets propelled me forward, soothing the tension in my back as I floated in the hot tub, looking up at the dark sky.  I wondered where to start in the conversation with Gabe.  I didn't know how much he already knew and didn't want to bother him with my problems.  He seemed like too important of a person to want to waste his time on my childish issues.  Which is what made this time together even more special.

As he eased into the water next to me, I noticed music in the background — a playlist I'd made for him.  There wasn't much crossover in our tastes, but after knowing each other 11 years, we'd found enough songs for an entire playlist.

"So... I'm going to torture you first..." Asking emotional questions to Gabe always made me so nervous — sometimes he could be more guarded and defensive than even Izaak (but at the end of the day, they both always answered my questions anyway 🥰).  "How do you not get attached in relationships?  Like, how do you stay detached?  From people in general?  Why aren't you in a relationship now?  Why didn't you want to marry your ex?"  I finally made eye contact, able to relax a little when I could tell he wasn't annoyed with my questions.

But he had thrown his guard up.  "Are you still having problems with your newspaper guy?"

I poked my lower lip out.  "It's my turn to torture you.  I still have like 45 minutes or something."

"Fair enough, but I'll only agree to this if you give me your direct psychoanalysis of me afterward."

ideas for ch29

Every time my phone vibrated, I jumped in startle, imagining it to be Gabe, condemning me for lying to him so much the last couple of weeks.  Or Toby, infuriated because I was fucking something up at work.  Or Adam, breaking up with me because I'm not good enough.  

The guilt was real.  I felt guilty about literally everything.  And there's only one way to remedy that.

I felt relief when I saw the message was from a client with my old clinic job.  Boundaries have never been my strength at work, so all of the teens I work with have my phone number.  Most of them use it sparingly or not at all, but there's a handful who have unrealistic expectations (that I tend to live up to).

Omar is being a dick and won't let me go out.  He doesn't understand I NEED to go, staying in this apartment makes me depressed and suicidal.

Isabel was a feisty 16 year old whose mother was on an extended vacation to her home country, leaving her in the care of three older siblings.  As the youngest child, she was resented by most of the others, seen as a brat who always got her way.  I'd only met her eldest brother, Omar, a couple of times, and he didn't seem to like me.  Isabel said he thought therapy was bullshit and that I was too nice to her.  He was probably right about the last half of that.

I tried everything already he just doesn't understand. I can't deal with this anymore.  Nobody cares, mom just left me here with all of them. 

sleepover continued

"Yeahhhh!!  Girl's night!!" Molly giggled as Violet showed me through the beaded door.  The air was thick with smoke and soft, sad-sounding indie music echoed in the background.  Mixed with the low purple light it oozed tranquility... polar opposite of her room the night of our family meeting.  Just what I needed.  "Do you smoke?"

"Bro, she's an artist, of course she does."

Weed seemed like the perfect solution for the constant buzzing in my head and chest, so I nodded, plopping down on the soft rug next to Molly who passed me the joint as she punched at her phone. 

"Who the fuck are you texting?  You've been on that thing all night!"

"Toby's still on my ass."

"Oh.  Then I don't feel sorry for you.  Shouldn't of told him."

I took a shallow puff of the joint, coughing a little when I exhaled then passed to Violet.

"He fucking told Gabe everything and that I'm still not caught up."

Violet almost choked on the smoke.  "Whaaaat?  What the fuck?  Toby doesn't even like Gabe.  Why would he blab to him?"  Then went back to smoking.

"I don't know."  She definitely knew, but didn't want to tell us.  "Whatever.  Fuck him."  She discarded her phone and accepted the joint from Violet.

"What did you do?" I asked.

She didn't have time to answer because her phone started vibrating madly next to her.   Molly swore under her breath, passing the joint back to me as she answered.  

ch20 good girl session with ending

[no idea how i'm going to feel about this when i reread it later]

It annoyed Gabe when I dropped in unexpectedly, so I didn’t call, which would most certainly earn me what I was looking for:  stress relief, a clear head, maybe even an orgasm. 

When I stepped out of the elevator into the penthouse apartment, he waited for me in the doorway of his living room, red tie slightly loosened, sleeves rolled up.  As he subtly licked his lips, I followed his gaze to my cut-off jean shorts.  My legs weren't as tone as I'd like, but the shorts made them look good, and also showed off my butt.  I was finally starting to put the weight back on that I'd lost during the coke daze, and just healthier in general made me a sexy piece of meat for him. 

"Officially debt-free… I think you owe me a reward or somethin'."

"For what??  There is no reward for doing what you should."

I rolled my eyes.  "You're such a dick."

He took a step towards me, smirking.  "I'm the one who deserves a reward for providing motivation."

Nodding, I bit my lower lip and moved closer to him.

"Did you behave this weekend?"

I shrugged, eyes flirting, now walking past him to the living room.  “What do you think?”

He followed, turning off the light in the entryway, yanking my hair back to make me face him.  “I think you need to check that attitude, Young Lady.”

"And what if I don’t?" I teased. 

“You know exactly what will happen.”

I mock-gasped.  “Ooooo, so scary.  You’ll give me what I came lookin’ for.”  

ch22b violet flashback

~6ish years ago~

I was in jail when I first met Toby.  Dressed in an ugly orange jumpsuit with oily black roots of my hair, my tough exterior at full force because it hadn't gotten a rest in a few days.  My emotions were all kinds of fucked up, destroyed because Molly was no longer speaking to me, and only had during the one phone call she'd answered of mine.  Gabe had also ignored my calls.  Vic couldn't come visit because of his immigration status.  But I knew that the three of them were working together to hire Toby, one of Molly's connections, who I'd already assumed to be a typical rich slick douchebag like Gabe before I even met him.

It was day three of being in holding at jail when he visited.  "You must be hella expensive," I spat upon seeing his designer suit and posh leather briefcase.  

His eyebrows raised and he plopped the briefcase onto the metal table, opening it and motioning for me to sit in front of him.  "I am," he said without glancing up from gathering folders and paperwork.  "Molly, however, gets the friends and family discount.  Which is why I'm here instead of an actual lawyer."

I cocked an eyebrow.  "You're not a lawyer?  The fuck are you then?"

ch22 additions

[some repeats from last night, idk if it all makes sense.  just trying to organize my brain haha]

After parking the car at our hotel, we each ate an edible then spent the afternoon and evening touring the city.  I turned super flirty once the substance took effect.  Since we didn't want to spend any money, Violet and I worked together to get free shit.  Like we managed to get into the Space Needle for free, thanks to my distracting some chump who left his tickets sticking out of his back pocket.

The sun was setting when we walked back towards our hotel.  It was plain, a little out-dated for my tastes, nothing too bad, but I wanted something fancier.  Especially if I was going to jail anyway, I might as well enjoy my final days of freedom.

I stopped in front of the four seasons, only a couple of blocks from our hotel.  "Bro, as if Gabe would spend this kinda money on us, haha!"

With a grin, I skipped towards the front door, scanning the ceilings for cameras.  "Watch this."  Violet followed close by as I sauntered to the counter, using my hair as a shield and tugging my shirt down a little to show off more cleavage.  I still wore sunglasses, but slid them down to my nose and batted my eyelashes when I approached the lone nerdy male receptionist.  "My friend and I are checking in," I said in a high pitched, innocent voice, biting on my lower lip as I looked at him seductively.

"Absolutely.  Can I see your credit card and ID?"

ch22 additions

"Bro, if you wreck this car, we're gonna get like a billion licks with the cane."

"Sorry," I murmured.  The lack of sleep and panic made it nearly impossible to react to the moderate Seattle traffic.  Unfortunately Violet had never gotten a license, so couldn't drive us anywhere.

"I gotta be an asshole and go a few pennies over budget.  Ha.  I'll tell Gabe it was all me so you don't get in trouble.  I just wanna see the look on his face."

My tummy grumbled.  Gabe caring about our budget was the least of my worries.  Sage wouldn't give up any info about me — she's good at giving only the bare minimum.  But Violet was really good at collecting evidence and putting clues together.  She'd already gotten this much in such a short amount of time.... what could she extract from this meeting with Sage?

"What's the case even about?"

"Someone leaked a clinical trial to the media that shows Winters Corp knew this pill killed a lot of people but put it on the market anyway with falsified results.  He thinks this Pattie Cake girl framed him, though."

"What do you think?"

"I dunno.  Winters is a greedy bastard, so it wouldn't surprise me if the leaked stuff were true.  But Gabe is convinced Pattie Cake girl is a good lead."

"So what if you find her?  Then what?"

She shrugged.  "I have to prove that she forged the leaked paperwork."

"How would you do that?"

"I'm not sure yet..."

"What if it's not her?  Seems more likely someone would want to get Winters out and take over the company themselves."

some sexy gabe/violet?

"You just can't stop with those smartass comments, can you?"

"I can't help it if I'm more clever than you."

Shaking his head, still wearing a smirk, Gabe walked to his bedroom, returning only seconds later with something in his hands:  a gag.  He shoved it into my mouth and hooked it behind my head.  The whole time I tried to push him off me, to no avail.  "Do I need to cuff you, too?" he asked after successfully gagging me.

So much sexual tension had built up since this whole thing started... as weird as it sounds, thoughts of the punishments I'd received last week were a turn on.  I'd been in an almost constant state of arousal since Gabe burst through my room the day after paintball.  He didn't allow me to do anything about it without permission, which was another torture altogether.  Tonight was the night I hoped to earn my reward.

"What do you have in that backpack?" he wanted to know.

I tossed it on the ground in front of him, hearing the belt buckles clang together when it landed with a THUD!

Gabe glanced at the bag then back up at me, now scowling.  "Wrong answer.  Try again."

With an eyeroll (that earned me a light slap across the face), I bent down and ripped open the backpack, revealing the implements I'd retrieved from Jason.  Gabe folded his arms, telling me that revealing this to him wasn't enough.  He was really looking for some deep submission.  I guess all of last week should have trained me for this.

One at a time, I dug each leather object from the bag, placing it gently on the coffee table before him.  I usually do everything in a rush, but tonight I tried to be artistic (ha), as if getting them ready for a photo shoot.  The thick tawse was smoothed down and laid at an angle where Gabe could easily reach for it.  The belts coiled up, laid in order of thickness, and the extra-wide one off to the side.  In the bottom of the backpack was a small butt plug I'd forgotten about — something Jason was into, but I never particularly enjoyed.  If I hadn't been a smartass and torn open the backpack, Gabe wouldn't have seen it.  My attempts to zip it back up before he said anything were futile.

"What's this?"  He snatched it out, wider smirk than I'd ever seen.

I tried to protest, but fucking gag wouldn't allow me, which made Gabe practically laugh.  He was enjoying this way too much... and didn't hide it.

Gabe handed me the butt plug.  My glare at him only caused him to jerk my hair back and say "fix your face." [lol idk where that response came from but 😂🤷]

He wanted me to artistically put it with the other implements, but I desperately wanted to throw it in the trashcan.  Well... maybe a part of me was curious about how he'd use it.  So I placed it next to the widest belt.

"Strip."

Body quivering, I started with my shirt, slipping it over my head then catching his gaze to make sure he enjoyed what he saw.  Then I slipped out of my shorts, bending over to pick them up and folded them neatly next to my shirt.  Next was my bra, still focused on his reactions, and finally my panties.

Pointing to a leather bench, he said, "On your hands and knees."

I did as instructed.  He walked forward and grabbed my ponytail, yanking out the scrunchy so that my hair fell in front of my face.  I looked up at him through strands of my almost-black hair.  He unhooked the gag and tossed it aside.  His hand cupped my chin, and he tilted my head up to look him in the eyes.

future scene

Seeing Molly in her depressed state was bringing me down, and since Vic wasn't able to animate her, I knew there would only be one way out of it.  That's why I contacted Toby's sister on instagram and asked for her to let me in. 

To be honest, I was kind of surprised to see my normally well-put-together friend with disheveled hair and a messy room.  He sat at his desk playing a game on his laptop, barely acknowledging that I entered the room.  

"Bro, what the fuck, isn't there something more productive you could be doing?"

"The last person I need a lecture from is you," he said flatly, still focused on the game.

"I was just kidding, jeez.  What's your deal anyway?"

Toby flashed me a glare.  "You know what my deal is, Violeta."

"Bro, you have to let the Molly stuff go.  She's suffering for real.  Like, she can't deal with you being upset with her."

"She should've thought about that before forging a prescription."

"But how long is this going to continue?  She's really sorry.  Gabe already beat her ass.  Hasn't she been punished enough?"

Fixated on the computer screen, Toby either didn't hear me or didn't bother to answer (probably the latter).  I wasn't sure how to get through to him.. for a shrink he could really be terrible with emotions sometimes.  But since Toby and Molly had helped me so much, it was time to return the favor.

"You've been on this for a minute.  Do you need to talk about it?"  

"No."

if molly goes to izaak's...

He was putting files inside his safe when I came inside, slipping my shoes off in the doorway before tackling him in a hug.  His arms wrapped around me, tricking me into feeling secure for a little while, which was warmly welcomed.  It felt so nice I could've stayed there forever.

"The apartment was too quiet?" Izaak asked as he broke free from my clutch to go back to locking up his work.

"Uh huh.  Whatcha doin'?  What's that?"  It was almost natural to slip into a younger headspace when I was with him, especially after smoking.  I felt like a needy 12 year old.

He didn't mind.  "Homework.  Did you do all of yours?"  Once the safe was closed and he turned the combination, Izaak guided me to the sofa. 

"Nah, it's so boring."  I slid my green backpack off my shoulders, dropping onto the couch.

Izaak glanced at his watch.  "When do you plan to finish it?"

"Neverrr!" I teased.  "Have you enjoyed your alone time?  Is your case hard?  What are you watching?"  I scooted closer to him to reach for the remote but he caught my arm.  

Then my stomach growled loudly.

"You have not eaten?"

"Violet wasn't home to cook for me," I pouted.  

He exhaled heavily through his nostrils and shook his head at me.  "One day I will teach you simple meals to make.  It's unacceptable to skip dinner.  How did you survive breakfast and lunch?  Fast food?"  

I gave him my best puppy face as I still reached for the remote.

"No TV yet.  Wash up and get changed.  I will make **something... idk what yet**."