molly chapter revised?

It was the first night in ages that my last appointment cancelled and I excitedly took a taxi home because, fuck it, I'd worked hard.  Arriving home to a quiet apartment had once been a dream, but that night the emptiness hit me harder than normal.  My body felt heavy as I tossed my bag on the couch, kicking off my shoes and automatically reaching for my vape pen as I turned on the metalcore band my client had recommended.

No amount of weed or loud music could fill the void of loneliness that had crept in since Adam went to Connecticut.  The excuse was that his ex-mother-in-law was in the hospital and he needed to help out with the kids.  But my loneliness came with the familiar feeling of being abandoned, which always happened when I fell for someone, my destiny.  I couldn't shake the idea that he would end up back with his ex-wife.

On top of that was a shit ton of overwhelm.  Summer was usually a more chill time of year and my plan had been to fully shift to my job with Toby... but I didn't want to abandon my other clients.  I couldn't be that person.  I know too much how badly it hurts.

idk, some dialogue

"I lied about finishing my paperwork."  My head hung sheepishly at the confession.

"I know," Gabe responded matter-of-factly.

"What?  And you didn't say anything?"

"You always eventually come clean."  

Chewing on my lower lip, I wondered what else Gabe already suspected.  "I brought my laptop so you can make me finish."

He leaned in.  "What's your deal with the new job?"

"Nothing."  

"Molly..."

I gulped, fidgeting.  "I'm just really busy with everything.  I run out of time to finish it all."

Gabe's raised eyebrows told me he didn't buy it.  "So the problem is time management?"

Now my throat was dry and I couldn't maintain eye contact.  "What else did Toby tell you?"

"What else do you need to tell me?"

"I asked you first," I pouted, now daring to glance at him with big puppy eyes.

next chapter- Molly's perspective now

No amount of weed or loud music could fill the void of loneliness that had crept in since Adam went to Connecticut.  The excuse was that his ex-mother-in-law was in the hospital and he needed to help out with the kids.  But my loneliness came with the familiar feeling of being abandoned, which always happened when I fell for someone, my destiny.  I couldn't shake the idea that he would end up back with his ex-wife.

On top of that was a shit ton of overwhelm.  Summer was usually a more chill time of year and my plan had been to fully shift to my Manhattan job... but I didn't want to abandon my other clients.  I couldn't be that person.  I know too much how badly it hurts.

It was the first night in ages that my last appointment cancelled and I excitedly took a car home because, fuck it, I'd worked hard.  Arriving home to a quiet apartment had once been a dream, but that night the emptiness hit me harder than normal.  My body felt heavy as I tossed my bag on the couch, kicking off my shoes and automatically reaching for my vape pen, getting distracted when my phone buzzed with a text message from Vic.

**idk i'm too sleepy to make sense of anything but i want to write 😭**

Can I come over?  Please? 

Gabe called right away.  "I'll send my driver to pick you up."

"I can come on my own... it's probably faster on the train anyway."

"There's no need for you to be out this late on your own when I can pick you up.  No arguments, Young Lady.  I'll have him text you when he arrives."

sleepover continued

"Toby's still on my ass."

"Oh.  Then I don't feel sorry for you.  Shouldn't of told him."

I took a shallow puff of the joint, coughing a little when I exhaled then passed to Violet.

"He fucking told Gabe everything and that I'm still not caught up."

Violet almost choked on the smoke.  "Whaaaat?  Ok, now I feel bad for you.  What the fuck?  Toby doesn't even like Gabe.  Why would he blab to him?"  Then went back to smoking.

"I don't know."  She definitely knew, but didn't want to tell us.  "Whatever.  Fuck him."  She discarded her phone and accepted the joint from Violet.

"What did you do?" I asked.

She didn't have time to answer because her phone started vibrating madly next to her.   Molly swore under her breath, passing the joint back to me as she answered.  

"Why is it so dark?  Turn the light on so I can see your face."  My boss' voice sounded stern, but not as harsh as he was with everyone else.  

"Why did you answer a video call?  Grrrrr..." Violet growled, waving at me to stop smoking.

Molly turned on a brighter light, nearly blinding me.  I'd really been enjoying the mellow vibe, and was not thrilled about the interruption.  So I took another couple of puffs on the joint until I was good and high...

"Why haven't you caught up on paperwork?" Gabe fussed.  

"I've been busy..."

"Getting high and gossiping with Violet?  Is she there right now listening to the scolding I'm about to give you?"

Molly blushed, looking down and giving a weak nod.

ch21 insert - girl's night

"Yeahhhh!!  Girl's night!!" Molly giggled as Violet showed me through the beaded door.  The air was thick with smoke and soft, sad-sounding indie music echoed in the background.  Mixed with the low purple light it oozed tranquility... polar opposite of her room the night of our family meeting.  Just what I needed.  "Do you smoke?"

"Bro, she's an artist, of course she does."

Weed seemed like the perfect solution for the constant buzzing in my head and chest, so I nodded, plopping down on the soft rug next to Molly who passed me the joint as she punched at her phone. 

"Who the fuck are you texting?  You've been on that thing all night?"

"Toby's still on my ass."

"Oh.  Then I don't feel sorry for you.  Shouldn't of told him."

I took a shallow puff of the joint, coughing a little when I exhaled then passed to Violet.

"He fucking told Gabe."

Violet almost choked on the smoke.  "Whaaaat?  Ok, now I feel bad for you.  What the fuck?  Toby doesn't even like Gabe.  Why would he tell him?"  Then went back to smoking.

"Says it's cuz Gabe's better at convincing me.  Whatever.  Fuck him."  She tossed her phone aside and accepted the joint from Violet.

"What did you do?" I asked.

She didn't have time to answer me because her phone started vibrating madly next to her.   Molly swore under her breath, passing the joint back to me as she answered.  

"Why is it so dark?  Turn the light on."  My boss' voice sounded stern, but not as harsh as he was with everyone else.  

ch 20 insert

"Ah mira, she finally decided to show her face again."  The guy who'd pulled a gun on me last time stood at Andy's side, shoulders back and chest puffed out as if trying to intimidate me.  "Did you bring your fed again?  Gonna frame me for some shit again?"

"Fuck off, nobody framed you.  I got your money."  I took the wad of $100 bills out of my pocket, tempted to throw it in his face but with Izaak close by I didn't want to cause the extra drama.

"Your girl got us in some shit, stealing from Chucho and callin' the cops.  What's her name?  Chloe Peterson or somethin'?"  Andy inched up towards me, half smiling like he did before fucking me a couple of weeks ago.  Bile stung in the back of my throat at the thought.

"Bro, you got yourself in shit.  Leave my girl alone or you'll have to answer to me."  Then I pushed him away with ease and headed up the stairs, shaking.  

I paid off everyone else and made it back to Izaak in record time.  "With three minutes to spare," he said, tapping on his watch as I slid into the passenger's seat.  "Toby advised me to ask, how do you feel with your debts paid off?"

"Yeah, fine," I said, staring out the window as I wondered what Andy was plotting to do to Clo.  

"No smartass response?  How uncharacteristic."

ch18 inserts

We only used half of the field, so it was relatively easy to score.  Most of my team had no idea what to do, and actually Yasmine was the best player.  The opposing team was stacked with meaty mid-pubescent boys who took orders from a curly-haired shorter kid named Ali.  Yasmine had told me from the beginning that he was the fastest, to keep an eye on him because he was sneaky.  But he was easy to read — within the first 5 minutes of the game I was onto a pattern in his strategy and ripped his flag off nearly every time before he could get a touchdown.

Well, the blue underdogs still lost.  But it was at least a more exciting workout than jogging the track.

After the game, I noticed a group of guys approach Yasmine, Ali at the front of everyone, running his mouth.  I'm not sure what he said, but Yasmine's face dropped and I knew he was mocking her.  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Izaak about to intervene but figured I knew how to better handle this little piece of shit.

"Bro, you gotta problem?  Why don't you get your beef out on someone your own size?"  I took a step forward, making my best effort to intimidate him even though he was almost as tall as me.

"Football is for guys.  You dykes always have to ruin the competition."  His voice cracked a little in nervousness.  "We always have to go easy on the girls."

"Bro, please," I laughed.  "I could beat you in my sleep.  Don't get all butt hurt cuz a couple of girls could kick your ass."  

more of ch21...

[def too high and sleepy for this </3]

On the way to Molly's apartment, I felt like a preteen going to a sleepover — one of those experiences I never had.  Izaak lectured me like an over-protective dad.  "Don't stay up too late" and "don't wander around at night alone" and "no drinking or letting Violet encourage you to do something stupid."  

I was too anxious to even roll my eyes at him.  This had been one of the worst weeks of my life — Izaak's rules were the least of my worries.  "I'll be a good girl," I promised.

Then he spent the next half of the short drive reviewing my flight information and promising to pick us up from the airport Thursday.  My mind was too focused on how I could mislead Violet, only answering his out-loud thinking when required.

Not sure if I was more nervous or thankful when we finally arrived.  I couldn't get out of that Suburban quickly enough.  

---

"Yeahhhh!!  Girl's night!!" Molly giggled as Violet showed me through the beaded door.  The air was thick with smoke and soft, sad-sounding indie music echoed in the background.  Mixed with the low lights it oozed tranquility... polar opposite of her room the night of our family meeting.  Just what I needed.  "Do you smoke?"

"Bro, she's an artist, of course she does."

-----

ch21 insert - chloe+toby talk

"You look tired," Toby commented as we jogged next to each other.

"Nightmares."  

"Dreams are a reflection of our unconscious mind... stressed?"

"Fuck work."  Vague but true.  "How was your *meeting or whatever* last night?"  

"I know you prefer to deflect, and that may be part of the problem."

My heart skipped a beat and I glanced over at him.  "There's just a lot going on.  I'm halfway through my contract with Gabe and I dunno if I want to renew or not.  And I legit want to know about your *whatever*."  Sometimes I conned people without even intending.  Out of everyone, Toby was the only person I'd consider opening up to about my true in-the-moment feelings, but that was as close as he was getting.  

"What are the pros and cons of staying and going?"

"You expect me to make a list while we're exercising???"  By now we'd both slowed to a speedy walk, and we'd had plenty of deep chats in this condition, I knew Toby wouldn't buy the excuse.  "Pros of staying — good money, good co-workers, everyone likes me."  It's scary how quickly I can slip into character without realizing it...  "Cons — I kind of suck at the work, we don't even know if Gabe will want to keep me, some of the clients are awful and disgusting..."

Toby cut me off.  "Something happened with one of the clients.  What was it?"

I almost stopped in the middle of the track, not appreciating his psychic abilities.  "He's a disgusting, creepy old guy who was hitting on me..."

violet torture maybe

"Yo, you don't have to be so harsh, geez," I spat when he practically pushed me into his apartment.

Before I had the chance to say more, Izaak thrust me against the wall, hand wrapped around my throat.  The position I was in forced me to look into his seething face.  His grip tightened.  "You haven't seen harsh yet."

I didn't have enough air to argue, somewhat thankful because he was legit raging, and much more than I'd realized earlier.  This wasn't an act.  He was normally so controlled, logical, emotionless.... but tonight it was pure wrath.  

"Tonight you will surrender control."