No amount of weed or loud music could fill the void of loneliness that had crept in since Adam went to Connecticut. The excuse was that his ex-mother-in-law was in the hospital and he needed to help out with the kids. But my loneliness came with the familiar feeling of being abandoned, which always happened when I fell for someone, my destiny. I couldn't shake the idea that he would end up back with his ex-wife.
On top of that was a shit ton of overwhelm. Summer was usually a more chill time of year and my plan had been to fully shift to my Manhattan job... but I didn't want to abandon my other clients. I couldn't be that person. I know too much how badly it hurts.
It was the first night in ages that my last appointment cancelled and I excitedly took a car home because, fuck it, I'd worked hard. Arriving home to a quiet apartment had once been a dream, but that night the emptiness hit me harder than normal. My body felt heavy as I tossed my bag on the couch, kicking off my shoes and automatically reaching for my vape pen, getting distracted when my phone buzzed with a text message from Vic.
**idk i'm too sleepy to make sense of anything but i want to write 😭**
Can I come over? Please?
Gabe called right away. "I'll send my driver to pick you up."
"I can come on my own... it's probably faster on the train anyway."
"There's no need for you to be out this late on your own when I can pick you up. No arguments, Young Lady. I'll have him text you when he arrives."
I grumbled but knew there was no use arguing. "Yes, Sir."
x-x-x-x
He seemed surprised that I hadn't smoked before coming.
My eyes were already watery when I looked at him, threatening to cry like a crazy person before anything real even happened. My imagination was too strong... I was too sensitive. Too many emotions.
"Is everything okay?"
The first question that came to mind: "Are you mad at me?"
He teased, "did you finish your paperwork so the doc won't bother me at work?"
I chewed on my lower lip. "Some of it. But only for the clinic."
"He thinks there's something deeper going on with you." It came out like a question.
I shrugged. "Maybe."
**sadly idk where i'm going with this and should probably sleep now 😭**
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