Chloe arrived five minutes early and was sitting in the crowded waiting room patiently, watching the couple across from her. Her hair was now dyed bright red and fell past her shoulders. She was dressed in jeans and a plain white T-shirt. When I approached, she glanced up at me and stood. Chloe appeared to be very aware of her surroundings.
“Hi!” she said with a grin.
“Hey, Chloe, how are you?”
“I’m okay, and you? Have you been able to enjoy the beautiful weather?”
“Unfortunately I’ve been in the office all day, but will be off soon.”
“Oohh that’s so sad. Do you have more people later?”
“Just one other person.” We reached the office and Chloe sat across from my seat. She maintained a confident pose and positive facial expression. “And how have you been this past week?”
She thought about it for a moment. “Well… I’ve been okay… I guess...”
“Just okay?”
“Well… I dunno. I’m a little stressed out about work.”
“Oh? What’s going on at work?”
She shifted in her seat and sighed a little, then pushed her hair out of her face and smiled. “It’s a lot, really. It may take up the whole session.”
“That’s okay. That’s what your fancy work insurance is paying me for, right? Unless there’s something else you’d rather talk about?”
She glanced out the window, eyeing the city lights, then looked back at me. “No, I guess there’s nothing else I needed to talk about. Is there something else you needed me to talk about?”
“Tell me about your job. I know you work in a law office… what do you do exactly?”
“Supposedly I’m a receptionist.”
“Supposedly?”
She shrugged. “I’m really bad at it.” She paused and stared at me in silence for a few seconds.
“What makes you say that?”
“They only hired me as a favor. I’ve never done secretary work before though, I don’t really like it. I’m not the most organized person and I’ve smoked too much weed to have much of a memory anymore. I remember the most important things, and of course, the things that I don’t want to remember, but scheduling and calling people… I’m just not into it. Sometimes Violet does my work for me and I do hers. She gives me shit about it, but does it anyway.”
“What does she give you shit about?”
“Like, she will act like she’s doing me the favor and she’ll say something like, ‘Gabe’s gonna kill you for this, here, let me do it and you can help me con this guy’ and really, okay she’s right that Gabe would kill me for the things I do wrong — not literally, but you know, he’d get pissed — but sometimes it’s stuff that he wouldn’t find out or I’d have time to do it later, or even, what if I wanted Gabe to ‘kill’ me for it? I’m definitely curious about how he is as a Dom. I think I’d be terrified of him, he yells a lot and isn’t great at listening to excuses — that’s the opposite of Izaak. Um, anyway, what was I saying?”
“She’ll act like she’s doing you a favor?”
“OH, right. It’s actually that she wants my help with conning the person because she can tell that I’m….” Chloe paused for a moment as if making a connection she hadn’t previously noticed. “She can tell that I’m good at that. At getting what I want out of people… at tricking them. It’s almost like she knows my past.” She stared at me for a moment. “Does she know my past?”
“I… don’t know?”
“Has she told you anything about me committing crimes? I mean, I know you can’t say anything but blink twice if she knows?”
“Chloe…”
“I’m kidding…” She still looked serious though. “But if you’re not blinking twice then that means that she doesn’t know.”
“You know I can’t tell you anything about my sessions with Violet.”
“I know, I’m just worried she knows.”
“What is it that makes you think that she knows?”
“Well, she’s smart. I watch her investigate people every day. She’s a good liar. And maybe also one of Gabe’s clients is a guy that I hypothetically stole money from in the past.”
“Wait… what? When you lived in Michigan?”
“Yeah. Lots of sleeze bag business men wanted to talk to little ol’ me.”
“Whoa. So you know one of Gabe’s clients? Does he know who you are?”
“I managed to hide. And that’s why I dyed the hair. But he wouldn’t recognize me anyway because it’s been so many years since he saw me. And he also wouldn’t say anything because he thought I was underage. Except…” she paused and bit her lower lip, seemingly unsure if she should continue.
“Except…” I prompted.
“Except there’s another hypothetical crime that happened afterwards against him, under a different alias, but potentially he could maybe connect it to me. Or not him, but Violet.”
“Oh shit…”
“Yeah… so I’ve been trying to stay on Violet’s good side.”
“What do you think would happen if you get on her bad side?”
“No telling. She would probably blackmail me… that seems her type. I’m pretty sure she would win that fight. I’d end up being her slave forever. That’s best case scenario. Worst case scenario she turns me in. Then I’d go to jail for a really long time. I don’t even think Gabe could get me out of that.” She paused and a wave of melancholy seemed to rush over her at the thought of going to jail. “Is this going to be hanging over my head forever?”
“I guess eventually there would be the statute of limitations or whatever.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard that phrase a lot. I don’t really know what it is though.”
“Me either. That’s a better question for your boss.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“What are your options?”
“I think just go with the flow and figure it out when it gets here. I guess if I have to I could also talk to Izaak about it. But my past is really shady and I’m not sure he can save me from it all.”
“Can you tell me more about your relationship with Izaak?”
“What about it?”
“He’s your roommate? I can’t remember if there was something romantic?”
The corner of her lips curved upwards in a smile. “Not yet anyway. I kind of wish.”
“Oh? What’s his story?”
“Well, he’s 4 years older than me, but was only 2 years ahead in college because he joined the military in the middle for their benefits or whatever. Because he thought he had a son. Then turned out the baby he had been taking care of the whole time wasn’t even his. The mom was batshit crazy, too. He felt bad for the kid though and still wanted to keep in touch with him but that crazy bitch just stopped any communication whatsoever. It was probably for the better. But anyway, so when I met Izaak he was in a dark place kind of. So was I actually. The problem with being a con is that you trust no one because you know that no one can be trusted. I was always sweet talking to everyone and making them believe I gave a shit, so when I was at school I was just quiet and let people believe whatever they wanted. I tried to blend in with the background. I didn’t want anyone to know who I was.
“Izaak was the opposite. He’s clearly an extrovert. He would always participate in class, he was so opinionated and confident, all the things I’m not. He didn’t mind being the center of attention. He had strong values and stuck to them, regardless of if someone challenged him. Even when I thought he was wrong, for some reason I admired his ability to just… I don’t know… stand up for his beliefs. And of course, he was fresh out of military service so was really fit and attractive.”
“How did you first start talking to him?”
“We were in a psychology class, funny enough. We had to pair up for group projects. Sounds like the beginning of a romantic comedy. I happened to sit close to him in class that day because I’d arrived so late, but as fate would have it, there was an empty seat close to him. When the teacher told us to pick a partner he approached me. I’m not even sure if he asked or just assumed I’d want to work with him. I was so smitten. I’d been staring at him every day since the beginning of the semester. This was like halfway through. I had the biggest crush ever.
“For our project we did something about behavioral psychology. I don’t remember what exactly. I remember that he scolded me a lot for procrastinating and not answering his emails. In fact, the whole project was almost a fiasco… I was starting to hate him. He was a pain in the ass and I had a lot of other stuff going on without putting up with his bullshit. But it got better the night before our presentation was due. He was losing his mind because we hadn’t met in a few days and he didn’t trust I’d done my part. I didn’t trust that his part was any good. Ha, our trust issues were real. But when we met that night, at his apartment, of course, which was on a good part of town and looked fancy to me. I lived in my grandma’s run-down house in a ghetto neighborhood. I felt ashamed to bring him over. Anyway… I went to his apartment and I was impressed and felt so comfortable. He was less uptight than normal, invited me to have a drink with him and we sat on the couch in the living room and reviewed each other’s part of the presentation. I’d created something about rewards. He’d written something about consequences. Whatever we’d both written, something clicked.
“I feed off of other people. I’m the person that other people want me to be. I’d met plenty of people in the bdsm lifestyle before… some really weird creepy people and some normal ones. None of them like Izaak. I hadn’t expected him to be kinky at all. I mean, to be honest, I don’t think he’s really that kinky but maybe he has some kind of fetish with punishing people who break rules. I don’t know. I looked up at him and apologized for having been so ‘naughty’ and slacking on our project. I started kissing his ass… and probably degrading myself. The self-degradation was ignored, but he had a solution for my slacking thanks to behavior psychology.
“It was the first ‘real’ spanking I ever got. Cuz I’d been smacked playfully before… most guys are willing to do that. But Izaak was using the principles we’d learned from our presentation. He wanted to make sure that the consequence was appropriate for the behavior, made some calculations, somehow convinced me that it should be over my panties, but not that I was complaining. I’d dreamt about something like this for years. My parents never punished me. I know I’m cute, I can get out of trouble for almost anything. I could probably literally kill someone and no one would suspect a thing. But I won’t do that, don’t worry.” Chloe paused and stared into space with a slight smile. She was leaning back in her chair, appearing at ease and content.
“But so he punished you, and then your relationship became… stronger?”
“Yes. Neither of us were in a place where we could be boyfriend/girlfriend. But we both needed someone to look out for. His family was all in Holland, and then for a while he was part of the military and had a son and was making a family in Michigan. But then he found out that it wasn’t his son and his military service was only part-time, he liked to stay busy and I was one of the things that kept him busy. We joined a local bdsm group and that was our “family” for a little while. I fell in love with him, but I think he just saw me as a little sister. I’m too young-minded for him. Even when I do try to make my own decisions he’s condescending towards me and tries to tell me there’s a better way. But then most of the time he’s right, so I can’t even complain about it.”
“Are you talking about now, or then?”
“Both. It’s just part of the way he treats me. But it’s different than he treats others. Like, Molly he treats as an equal. She and I could be doing the same thing, and he excuses her doing it, but he tries to tell me that I shouldn’t because it’s not the way things should be done.”
“So he tries to ‘take care’ of you more than Molly? He’s trying to teach you but not her?”
“Sure, that sounds about right. And then with like, Violet, he treats her like a criminal. Like, she and I can be doing the same thing and it’s fine that I do it but if she does it’s because she’s just a hoodlum. Haha… I don’t think he’s used that word, but Violet and I joke about it.”
“Hmmm… so he excuses it if you do something that makes Violet a ‘hoodlum’? How does he excuse it?”
“Okay, like, if he sees her smoking weed he may shake his head and say that she’s lacking self-control like all criminals, but if I point out that I’ve smoked it, he will say that it’s different, since I used it for depression. But how does he know she doesn’t also have depression? He’s so judgmental.”
“But part of you likes that, I’m guessing?”
“Yeah, kind of. I just kind of taught myself how to be. My grandma taught me some stuff, but mostly just to let people be. My grandpa was also a criminal, he died before I could meet him. But my granny just believes it’s in our blood. She says that you can’t change a person, you can only meet them halfway if you’re lucky. But most of the time it’s best to just adapt. It leads to the least amount of suffering. So I usually just do what others want me to. Izaak, on the other hand, is firm in his beliefs and doesn’t change them based on who he’s around. He has a strong moral compass… and is just a good person. He’s successful… good job, good community, good friends. I don’t know if I could ever be as good of a person as he is, but maybe he’s someone healthy to make an attachment with because if I can adapt with his lifestyle, at least I won’t fall into the criminal trap like my dad and grandpa. And I won’t lose all my family for always bailing a criminal out, like my grandma.”
“Can you tell me more about your mom and her family?”
“Well, I never met her parents, they died before I was born, but from what I know they were super hippie. My mom was, too, and she’s kind of like my granny in that she adapts to whatever other person. But eventually, she got tired of it with my dad. She was an only child, and a mistake, and her parents had her when they were old. They died of AIDS in the 80s. So much for the free love.
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